World of Pookachino

Why Friendly Divorces Annoy The Hell Out of Me

2011-12-30T20:16:00.004-06:00

Shocker: Katy Perry and Russell Brand are divorcing.

*Rolling eyes*

Okay, I tend to be a very oblivious person, but even I knew that was coming. It wasn't that I picked up on the "signs", but just like with getting married and having a baby, divorcing has become a celebrity fad.

And to be quite honest, I find it to be the most disturbing fad yet (even worse than that whole plastic surgery thing).

Why? Oh, boy, let me tell you.

According to TMZ, Mr. Brand says that he will always adore his soon to be ex-wife and that he is certain they will remain friends.

...

Are you kidding me?

Now I am all for world peace (I have an anxiety disorder and will probably give myself a fatal heart attack one day if some semblance of peace is not achieved in my life), but there is something so wrong with this amicable split up.

Have you ever been stuck in traffic for more than an hour because of some small little fender bender? Isn't it just infuriating when you see that the cause of the traffic was two cars hardly damaged with nobody hurt and blocking absolutely no lanes?

Isn't it just maddening that there isn't a ten car pile up with glass shards all across the road and EMTs rushing to save the lives of multiple people?

I know, I know. It sounds cruel. It's only a couple of hours sitting in a car, and just as long as no one is hurt, I shouldn't mind.

But here's the thing.

Whenever I'm stuck in that kind of traffic, I can't tell you how many times I almost get run over by impatient drivers or have a fender bender of my own because I'm distracted. It's dangerous out there, and it's hard to see the additional danger as justifiable when the only thing damaged in the accident was the front bumper of a Ford Focus.

The EMTs and cops can shut down the highway for all I care if people are seriously injured and cars are totaled, but a dented bumper?

Grr.

So back to divorce.

When couples get divorced, whether they like it or not, damage is going to occur, just like any car accident. It is going to cause hardships for many people, more people than the couple probably realizes.

The divorce is going to consume the time of not just the couple but their friends and their family. It may even create further problems down the road (especially if children are involved).

Which is why this amicable divorce stuff pisses me off.

I've never been divorced, but I've experienced quite a bit from my parents' divorces (yes, plural).

My parents divorced each other after my dad had a child with another woman. My dad destroyed any semblance of trust my mother might have had in him, and his actions implied that my mom, my sister, and I weren't really wanted. I shudder at the thought of my parents marriage. If they had stayed together...no, I'm not going there. It would have been bad to put it mildly.

They did the right thing. It saved my sisters and I a great deal of chaos and stress in our lives. Did we still have some issues? Loads.

But guess what? It wouldn't have been much better if my parents had gotten divorced because of some "irreconcilable differences." My parents would still have had to split time with my sister and me. Child support would still have to be paid. Problematic differences in parenting would still have developed. The tension would still have existed, and my sister and I probably wouldn't have felt all that loved by either parent.

Okay, so Russell and Katy didn't have kids, but what about their friends and family involved? They may be able to separate from the situation easier, but it sure puts them in an awkward spot, even with the "Oh, we'll still be friends" thing. Picking sides is bound to happen, and with that, bitterness is sure to follow.

Whether it's a serious crash or a small technical difficulty, divorce can cause a great deal of traffic.

So, why are we so accepting of something that hurts and creates chaos?

Nowadays, car companies are trying to create an intelligent car that would nearly eliminate traffic and significantly decrease damage in accidents. This would truly be an amazing thing for our world. Too much time and money is spent because of traffic and accidents. It needs to stop.

So when are we going to start looking at our relationships in the same way? We can't keep thinking of divorce as a quick fix for when things aren't going right.

It's just like with a car. I could probably pound out a few of the dents I sustained in a crash, but without proper inspection, I could go years driving a car that is completely out of alignment. As we all know, that's just asking for another crash.

Marriage is hard. It requires a lot of sacrifice and humility. My estimate of how much is probably still too little. If you say that you are still going to remain friends with your spouse after the divorce, then you probably aren't doing everything to save your marriage.

I am friends with a married couple who have been through the ringer over the past few years. They haven't always gotten along, and for awhile there, I wasn't even quite sure they liked each other. It was messy. It was hurtful. It was scary. It still is at times.

But they still joke around with each other. They still schedule date nights. They still have food fights. They still hold hands. And they still want to be together!

Life is never going to turn out the way you expect. Marriage is the same, so rather than cut your losses and make a run for it, why don't you fight? You may just even make your marriage greater than your expectations.

Or we can look at it this way: Katy's wedding ring - estimated $75,000. That's more than I make in two years, and their marriage lasted a little bit more than one.

Just think: Rather than wasting money on a wedding ring and a wedding for a marriage that wasn't going to last, Russell and Katy could have covered the expenses for several people in third world countries for a couple of years. They could have also helped someone who lost their job because of the bad economy. They could have helped someone and avoided the drama!

Ah, but I'm just sputtering nonsense.

That's My Baby!

2011-08-25T19:09:00.005-05:00

Okay, so if you've ever heard me talk about my car, then you probably know that I treat it like it's my child. She has a name (Carrie). She gets fed on a regular basis (High mileage oil is her favorite), and she gets applauded every day that she runs well (the summer heat has not made this easy).

My car is twelve years old though and on her last leg, which means that I need to get a new car soon, but I cringe at the thought of having to say goodbye to my baby (no matter how much of a pain in the ass she is can be).

I wonder what life would be like if we treated more of inadimate objects like they were human beings. Maybe we'd have less environmental problems? I know that if I looked at a tree as I did Carrie then I would do anything in my power to keep her (or him) from being cut down by a bulky, sweaty lumberjack.

So what if we treated our companies like they were our babies?

Yes, I know I sound like I've gone into my over-caffinated la-la land again, but there really is no time like now to start thinking out of the box when it comes to our economy.

I have currently been reading Onward by Howard Schultz (yes, the guy who conquered the world with that horribly evil company Starbucks), and I am continually amazed by how much love he has for his company. He views it as if it was another one of his children. He wants it to grow and succeed. He often speaks of the company in his book as my mother speaks of me to her friends. Proud and affectionate. In Howard Schultz's mind, Starbucks is a force that can greatly improve the world if pointed in the right direction but can cause great harm if neglected and used selfishly.

It's the same with any human being.

So what would happen if we looked at all our companies this way?

Would scandals like Enron become nonexistant? Ha, no, not with the way we Americans tend to act. All of our problems would certainly not be solved. Starbucks may even have another episode in the future.

It is possible though that if we viewed our companies more like we viewed our children (or like any loved one if you don't have children), we could maybe save a few of them and avoid the great harm that a failing company has on the economy. We could maybe even make these companies better! Can you imagine what might have happened if Enron's leaders had thought of it as more than just a money making machine? (Whoa....)

I hope that someday in the future when I oversee a company that I have the same affection for it that Howard Schultz has for Starbucks, and I can't help but hope that his book will inspire a few other entreprenuers out there as well.

But in the meantime, Carrie gets all my love.

Sorry, boys....

Maybe a Little Reverse Culture Shock?

2010-09-06T15:04:00.004-05:00

Am I experiencing reverse culture shock? I don't know, but this question has compelled me to write on my blog for the first time in a really long time.

I must admit that I am frustrated. I have absolutely no concentration, I am eating as if I've been told that the chocolate and doughnut supplies of the world are soon to run out, and I feel as if things have changed in my little world of Austin, Texas in ways that could only mean bad things.

Traveling this summer was a blast. I got to see my mother in Phoenix, I saw my family in Colorado, and we all traveled down to Cancun to see my older sister get hitched. After that I traveled across the Atlantic to London for a six week study abroad program.

When I got back, everything seemed fine. My last semester of school was supposed to start. I was going to be working on this awesome paper about the coffee industry. I was going to live in this awesome apartment right near downtown and close to school. I was going to get to see the buddies I had so desperately missed while I was gone.

But something is off now.

School just doesn't feel like a good experience any more. I'm tired of spending most of my day on campus either in class, working, or studying and then going home to do more of the same. I'm tired of spending money I don't have for books and tuition. I'm tired of falling asleep every time I sit down to read for one of my classes. I'm tired of researching and reading hundreds of boring journal articles that sometimes answer my questions and sometimes just further confuse me.

My apartment is great, but the honeymoon stage is over, and the air conditioner has started leaking. Now I'm sitting in a very hot apartment because I don't want the leaking to ruin any wiring. Also, I can't regulate the temperature whenever I take a shower, so by the time I get into my pjs and into bed, I am wide awake from all the little shocks of cold and hot that I got.

I still love my friends and everyone here, but there's a fragmentation among us now. What used to be a large community is now splitting up into cliques, and some of our most loving and giving friends are getting left behind. And how do you discuss that with anyone when you know that all it will lead to is more hurt and offense?

Is this all just a bit of reverse culture shock? Am I just reacting badly to the changing nature of this world after I have been gone for so long? Or am I just in a rut?

About a week and a half ago, my dad was on a business trip and came down to Austin. He picked me up and took me out to dinner at Kirby Lane. We had queso and margaritas, and he helped me with my fantasy football draft (although, I don't think he made very good suggestions on my defensive line). It was an odd experience since my dad and I haven't gotten along very well over the past few years, but it was good in that some of the hurt and bitterness between us had disappeared. I didn't expect him to actually call me while he was in town. To be honest, I didn't expect anything of him, but it did turn out to be a great experience.

So I have to ask again, am I experiencing reverse culture shock? Can culture shock happen with a good experience?

This all reminds me of last year when I first began to grapple with the bus system of Austin. I remember crying at some of the bus stops saying to God, "Hello? Not funny!" It took until about halfway through the semester to get used to it all. I struggled, but eventually survived.

Maybe I shouldn't be asking whether or not I am experiencing some reverse culture shock, but rather I should be thinking about those times when I was in a rut and never thought I would get out of it. There is usually a light at the end of every tunnel, so maybe I should start looking for it.

Until then though, there is always my House box set to make me feel better.

Accident Forgiveness

2010-05-16T17:33:00.006-05:00

Do you remember those commercials for Allstate? You know, the ones that say that your rates won't go up even if you are in an accident?

I've gotta say I really like this idea.

I've never been in a car accident before (well, at least when I was the driver), but from what I have observed with my family and friends, I believe I can safely assume that everyone will be in a car accident while they were at the wheel at least once in their lifetime, so I can't help but wonder why car insurance companies would even think to raise their rates for an individual when the inevitable, such as a car accident, happens.

Why punish someone for something that is likely to occur? I don't know.

This seems to be a very widespread characteristic of businesses though. It's understandable that especially after the recent recession companies would be extremely touchy about anything that could negatively affect their earnings. Some are even battling severe losses, so "accident forgiveness" is understandably not a high priority of business executives.

This isn't a phenomena that just started with the recession though. For years, several companies in the service industries have implemented what are called "change fees" or "cancellation fees" to deter anyone from making costly changes to their service requests while also guaranteeing the companies some sort of positive return on their investments.

And I have to admit that this is still understandable even without the excuse of the recession. Just because a company is supposed to serve a customer, it does not mean that a customer has free reign to do and change whatever they want. If that were true, no business would survive.

But I fear that we have become too unforgiving. How many of you have had to change a flight because of a family emergency only to be charged hundreds of dollars in change fees? How many of you have tried to cancel service with a cable company because it is becoming too expensive only to find that the early cancellation fees would only place you in even greater financial strife?

Everyone makes mistakes or is faced with some event that greatly alters their life. Business executives and managers should understand this. These strict, no-exception policies are hardly fair when we consider the failable nature of human beings, and they may actually be more harmful to companies if they anger enough customers. Implementing a more flexible fee structure that adjusts to each unique situation would, in the end, be beneficial to both consumers and businesses alike.

A little while ago, as I sat here at the Coffee Bean with mi madre, enjoying a peach tea and writing, an older gentleman spilled his just purchased, full cup of green tea all over the floor. The baristas mopped up the floor and provided the man with a refill of the drink he had not been able to enjoy.

Businesses know how to be compassionate and understanding, but we need start making changes before we completely forget.

Loyalty Can Be A Real Pain

2010-01-04T23:47:00.005-06:00

Raise your hand if you've ever called up a friend and canceled your plans with them because you were "sick" or "busy" or "tired" or whatever and then complained to someone about how annoying or stupid it would have been to go.

...If you're not raising your hand, I'm going to punch you.

Come on, admit it. You've acted like a certified jerk to your friends and family sometime in your life. You've thought, "I'm too cool for those losers. In fact, I'm so cool that I think I'll lie around in my room doing absolutely nothing instead of actively developing a wonderful and fulfilling relationship."

I have. (I know, shocker!)

I'm not just pointing fingers though. Of course, we all have been a victim of this abuse.

We can all remember a day when we fretted over ever single action we had taken over the past 24 hours, wondering if we offended our friend in someway or another because they seemed somewhat annoyed when they said they weren't feeling well enough to come visit on our birthday or were explaining why they didn't show up for our coffee date the other day.

Soooo....what do we do? How do we end this malicious cycle?

It seems like just normal human nature, right? I mean, we aren't perfect. It's just a natural reaction sometimes; some people deserve it. Also, we all need time to ourselves.

Neglect and egoism are part of what makes the world go round, right?

...Right?

As most of us know, introverts are people who become exhausted through contact with other people. That's why they don't like crowds and typically keep to themselves. To them, interaction is work, not play. I know this because I am an introvert. Time by myself is the best way to reboot.

But does that mean I should not challenge myself to overcome this discomfort? Should I just accept that as the way it is and be happy? If I'm not "up for it," is it alright to renege on a promise?

Life is a bitch, but it is mainly because we make it that way. For so many years, I thought of relationships as an obligation and people as an incovenience. In doing so, I made my thoughts real. Hanging out with friends became a challenge, and I became isolated. I disappointed the ones I loved because I was convinced that nothing good could come out of any sort of commitment I had to them, and eventually, they returned the sentiment. I became an inconvenience to them.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

The golden rule still holds true despite it's difficulty to put into practice: Treat others as you would treat yourself.

I want to have loyal friends and family who want to see me and love me. I don't want to be disappointed or hurt by them.

In order to get this though, I'm going to have to change my ways. I am going to have to give as I have never given before. I am going to have to love as I have never loved before, and I am going to be challenged as I have never been challenged before.

Loyalty is a bitch, but so are we at times. I'm thinking it's about time we changed that.

Where Did Christmas Go?

2009-12-28T00:17:00.007-06:00

'Tis now the 27th of December, and the holly jolly of Christmas is slowly disappearing as more and more decorations are packed up, gifts are returned, and food is thrown away.

Damn. It's so sad.

I guess the real problem is that with the end of the Christmas season comes the end of my stay with Mom.

And that is a sad thing indeed.

From shopping for Christmas presents and spending the day at wonderful coffee shops with sparkly pastries to watching dozens of movies and chatting with friends, we rarely had a moment of boredom, and we are still busily working away, packing up and getting in any last minute festivities.

It only get's harder, doesn't it? The leaving?

The summer after I had graduated from high school and traveled off to Austin for school, I could not wait to get away! In fact, I was so intent on staying away that I made myself physically ill at every thought of a permanent return trip home.

With every visit I made to see my mother after that first move, I always felt sad when I left but excited for what was to come.

Nothing quite like getting hit by a car to change things a little, eh?

Now leaving is horrible. This past Thanksgiving, I was extremely upset when I had to return to school. I even took out my anger on a paper that I had to work on during break (I did this by pulling almost two all nighters. Worked out so well...)

Anyway, I guess you never really know what you have until it's gone (like a car). Life can be so cruel at times.

I must not dwell on the negative for too long though. Mom and I will see each other again (after this year, we're damn near indestructable), and I will just have to look foward to that day.

Adios, Phoenix. It's been fun!

Movies Galore

2009-12-22T15:50:00.011-06:00

For several months, my days consisted of class, work, homework, sleep, and buses (yuck). Moments to just hang with friends were like water in the desert, rare but oh-so-desired. By the time Christmas break rolled around I was about to break (While trying to write a research paper in a coffee shop, I began to cry hysterically.)

But that is all behind me now, and something much more enjoyable has taken its place....

The television.

Mom and I always reserve our movie watching until we are able to visit each other, and this Christmas break has been no exception.

So now without further ado, my movie reviews for Christmas Break of '09.

The first movie I will talk about is Julie and Julia, which receives five stars from me. This film is about the lives and, well, cooking escapades of two women: Julia Child and Julie Powell. Meryl Streep is fantastic as Julia Child. I almost forgot that it wasn't the actual famous cook playing the part. The side story of Julie Powell is also great in contrast to Julia Child's. It really illuminates the differences between her positivity and motivation and that of modern day people. This is definitely a cute movie, and I would suggest everyone see it.

Now onto something completely different: G.I. Joe. Two thumbs down for me. I agree that the actions scenes are impressive. They look realistic and not computer generated at all, but oh, my goodness, the acting! It was horrible. One of the characters finds out that an old friend was alive instead of dead and how did he react? I'm not really even sure he did. There was also supposed to be some love plot somewhere in there but obviously had no intensity or emotion. I think I'm going to skip out on the sequel.

Mom and I also saw I've Loved You So Long which was indeed very intense and heavy but definitely a well done film. The movie follows a woman who has just been released from prison after fifteen years for murdering her son. Yes, it is a bit depressing, but what was so amazing about this film is the sense of hope it engenders. The woman had hit the ultimate bottom, yet slowly and surely, she began to rebuild her life. In it's own way, it was very inspiring.

Continuing with the foreign movies, mom and I also watched Paris. This movie contained several different characters with interconnected stories, but it mainly centered around a young dancer who is in severe need of a heart transplant. The story is cute, but it is hard to get any feel for the purpose of the film or what direction it was trying to point. While the background music was great, I'd say that there are better movies out there to be watched.

Because I've Loved You So Long and Paris contained actresses from the English Patient, mom suggested that we watch that movie as well. I have heard over and over again just how wonderful this movie is, but oh, my goodness gracious! It was so long! It would not end, and I just couldn't help but feel that a story lasting about three hours needed a little more substance and purpose.

Girl, Interrupted starring Wynonna Ryder and Angelina Jolie was wonderful. Maybe it is because I often feel a bit crazy and like I am about to lose my sanity, but something about this movie really caught my attention. The mind can be a very mysterious thing, and this film explores just how dangerous it can get. Angelina Jolie really did deserve the Golden Globe she received for this part. If you have not seen this movie, you need to. NOW!

Inglourious Basterds. Two words: Brad Pitt. Hilarious.

And finally for this blog entry (although, mom and I have watched many more) is the Devil's Advocate. Ooh, I loved this movie even though it was rather perverse. The story follows an up and coming lawyer who receives an unbelievable offer from a firm in New York, but when his wife and him settle in, things start to get strange, disturbing, and downright evil. What I loved about this film is its portrayal of the influence of money, how it engulfs and suffocates the soul. Wonderful acting. A must-see.

Warning about some of these movies if you do see them: A lot of full frontal nudity.

Anyway, mom and I have not slowed down in our movie watching, so look forward to another review blog.

Until then though, Merry Christmas!

Away We Go

2009-11-24T18:53:00.004-06:00

My plane has just arrived, and then I am off to enjoy a Thanksgiving with mi madre, but I do have time to post another paper that I wrote this semester.

I know, I know. These papers haven't been on the most interesting subject matter, but I think you all will like this. I had to write a critique of a poetry reading.

If nothing else, read it because I mention the beauteous Dr. House.

As the fall semester begins, so does the next season of House M.D. on Fox network. Medical mysteries and captivating conflicts wrapped in a blanket of acerbic wit are all in store for fans of the show, which has already garnered talk of Emmy nominations. A television series as provocative and complex as House M.D. is rare these days though. Hundreds of thousands of scripts grace the desks of television and movie producers, but very few of them actually contain any substance and creativity. This is true for most forms of literature as well: movie scripts, novels, poetry. Quality is now just a foreign concept to a majority of works. The pieces read at Ruta Maya’s poetry open-mike night were no exception as most lacked inspiration, structure, and emotion.

The subject matter of most of the poems was generic and mind-numbing. For example, several of the writers wrote about government oppression and conformity. “Propaganda for the Poison-Hearted” listed several social problems of the world and could have substituted for a speech on human rights. “Armageddon Tomorrow” mentioned several fast food establishments which are taking over the world, and “Ancestors” discussed the issue of global warming. The stereotype of the liberal art student had never appeared so obviously than with these poems. Science was even a popular topic. Down syndrome, chromosomes, and COXI were all mentioned sometime throughout the night, making the show feel like a class instead of a presentation of art. One poem was even about attending a class! Poetry should describe the aspects of life, not explain how it works, how it should be, and how it is being ruined. That is subject matter for a text book.

The atmosphere of the poetry reading was also extremely uncomfortable. The first poem presented, called “Lingering near Midnight,” described sex in a very graphic manner, but the words of the poem were not the most disturbing aspect of the reading. The writer spoke the intimate piece in a low, monotone voice while staring at his notebook as if some dark abyss would swallow him up the moment he looked away. His insecurity with the poem made me feel insecure, and I could not concentrate on what his work was trying to convey. This was the case with most of the poems. There was one exception to this though. A fiftyish, British man had great stage presence. Whether he was reading about falling in love or getting the best out of life, he would react with the piece. When he spoke of fire, his voice was excited and strong. When he spoke of quiet and softness, his voice was light and gentle. Whenever he took the stage, I was always sucked into his story, and I could better relate to what he was trying to say.

Several of the poems also lacked organization and contained awkward or distracting word choice. Very few of the pieces had any sort of structure. Most were freestyle with no recognizable rhyme or rhythm, and none of the main ideas of each poem were presented in any sort of organized form. For example, the poem, “Little Bits of Color,” is either about traveling on the S. Congress bus, a broken girl, or a broken girl traveling on the S. Congress bus. Because of the descriptions were so disjointed, it was difficult to know what his topic was. The diction used in a majority of the poems was also a problem. Several of the writers cursed within their poems, almost as if to fill in the gaps for when they could not think of a proper adjective to use. Instead of adding to the tone of the reading, it detracted from it, and most of my attention was on that one word. I could not focus on the rest of the poem.

Overall, the poetry reading at Ruta Maya was a great disappointment. Rather than listening to modern interpretations of the world, I was presented with work that was hastily created and incomprehensible. The depth and creativity craved by audiences could not be found in the poems presented. It was not a job done well, and I almost fear for the fate of the literary world. I can only wish that the next time I attending a poetry reading, the pieces will be a hundred times more satisfying. But as House likes to say: You can’t always get what you want.

Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?

2009-11-22T15:03:00.006-06:00

Okay, so because I am so badass, I did write a paper in French. Now, I know that I made a couple of mistakes here and there, but my prof gave me props, so I have to post it.

Most of you probably won't figure out what it says (it's not that interesting anyway), but doesn't it look pretty?

Est-ce que la mondialisation est une bonne force dans le monde où une cause à combattre ? Elle pénétrait tous les aspects de la vie. L’économie, la politique, le partageant de cultures différentes, tous ont les grandes améliorations grâce à la progression de la mondialisation, mais il y a aussi des problèmes avec cette progression. La pauvreté, le chômage, la pollution, et l’homogénéité continuent de ruiner les vies de beaucoup de personnes et blesser le monde dans lequel nous vivons, et malgré les tentatives pour supprimer ces difficultés, les problèmes ne deviennent que plus grands. Même s’il y a tant de luttes, le monde devient un meilleur endroit à cause des avantages de mondialisation, et il est possible que celle-ci aide à annuler les difficultés qui existent encore.

D’un côté, la mondialisation contribue à la croissance de l’économie et la diversité des produits, aide à continuer la paix et supprimer les disputes entre les pays, et facilite les personnes à se partager de leur culture unique.

D’abord, la mondialisation a une grande et bonne influence sur les économies du monde. Grace à la mondialisation, chaque pays peut partager ses produits uniques avec d’autres pays qui sont très lointains. Si un pays a besoin d’un certain produit qu’il ne peut pas produire, il peut l’acheter à autre pays ou l’échanger avec un autre produit qu’il possède. Par exemple, les Etats-Unis achètent à l’Amérique du Sud et aux iles de la Pacifique les bananes, les ananas, et des fruits tropicaux qu’ils ne peuvent pas faire pousser sur leurs terres. La mondialisation encourage aussi la diversité des produits et donne aux consommateurs la liberté de choix. Quand on entre dans un magasin, on n’est pas obligé d’acheter un t-shirt spécifique ou le même jean que son ami porte. Il y a une variété de vêtements, de couleurs, et de qualité qu’on peut choisir. Cette diversité aide aussi avec le coût de ces produits. Parce que toutes les entreprises veulent vendre leurs produits, elles baissent les prix pour rendre leurs produits plus désirables.

De plus, les difficultés et les disputes politiques entre les pays disparaissent avec l’influence de la mondialisation. Pendant plusieurs siècles, les pays ne voulaient pas se communiquer ou s’aider. Chaque pays avait sa série de règles, et il fallait se protéger des autres pays. En effet, il y a eu beaucoup de guerres qui ont duré plus d’un siècle. Puis, il y a eu la Première et Second Guerre mondiale qui ont menacé la vie de toute la planète. Après ces deux grandes guerres, le danger de ce comportement agressif est devenu très apparent, et maintenant, beaucoup de gouvernements essaient d’établir les relations paisibles pour la sécurité des personnes qu’ils dirigent. Les organisations qui inclurent plusieurs de ces pays comme l’ONU travaillent à maintenir cette paix et à encourager les autres pays à les joindre.

Enfin, la mondialisation encourage l’éducation continuelle des cultures différentes. Avant la mondialisation, le monde était très réduit pour les personnes qui y habitaient. Il n’y avait pas de voitures ou d’avions, donc les voyages étaient très durs et longs. Il n’y avait pas non plus d’e-mail ou d’Internet, toutes les choses qui permettent le transfert facile de renseignements. En effet, toutes les nouvelles et les renseignements des autres pays du monde étaient très lents et peu sûrs. Avec l’amélioration des communications et les inventions de véhicules pour voyager, la connaissance des cultures d’autre pays s’est propagée, et maintenant, les influences de ces cultures différentes sont partout. Par exemple, les chinois peuvent manger de la nourriture française, américaine, russe, et cetera et vice versa. L’apprentissage d’autres langages est beaucoup encouragé. Si on sait parler deux langues ou plus, on peut trouver un meilleur travail. Beaucoup d’écoles encouragent aussi les élèves à étudier dans un autre pays.

On peut voir que la mondialisation est très bénéfique dans beaucoup d’aspects de la vie, particulièrement dans l’économie, la politique, et la connaissance des cultures différentes.
Mais d’un autre côté, bien qu’il y ait beaucoup d’avantages grâce à la mondialisation, celle-ci est la cause de beaucoup de problèmes désastreux pour l’environnement, l’économie, et la diversité de cultures.

D’une part, la condition de l’environnement est très grave. La population continue à grandir tandis que les ressources qui sont nécessaires pour vivre continuent de disparaitre. Parce que les ressources sont limitées, beaucoup de personnes ne peuvent pas trouver de nourriture tous les jours et meurent à cause de sous-alimentation. Les actions des entreprises rendent aussi le problème bien pire. Par exemple, les usines polluent l’eau qui est utilisée pour boire et la terre qui est utilisée pour produire la nourriture et où on habite. De plus, les émissions de gaz qui sont produits par les usines non seulement réchauffent de l’atmosphère mais aussi menace la santé de tout le monde.

D’autre part, la mondialisation de l’économie a beaucoup de désavantages bien qu’il y ait plusieurs avantages. Les économies du monde grandissent mais le chômage et la pauvreté grandissent aussi. Parce que la main-d’œuvre est moins chère dans certains pays, les pays avec les salaires les plus élèves déplaceront souvent leur main-d’œuvre dans d’autres pays. En effet, beaucoup de personnes perdent leur travail et ne peuvent pas en trouver un autre. Elles n’ont plus d’argent pour les dépenses nécessaires de la vie. Ces personnes habitent malheureusement dans des conditions horribles and difficiles sans l’espoir d’atteindre une vie meilleure.

Enfin, les caractéristiques uniques de chaque culture disparaissent avec l’influence de la mondialisation. Bien que l’échange des cultures soit très important pour one meilleure compréhension du monde et des personnes qui y habitent, les différences s’entombent avec le temps. Par exemple, beaucoup de pays ont maintenant un McDonald’s, un Starbucks, et un Walmart. La nourriture et les vêtements qui sont vendus dans ces magasins sont touts les mêmes. Si cela continue, les cultures et les pensées de chaque pays disparaitront et deviendront homogènes.

En bref, à cause de la mondialisation, beaucoup de pays souffrent de problèmes économiques, la condition de l’environnement continue de se détériorer, et les choses qui faisaient une culture spéciale et unique sont menacées avec supprimer.

La mondialisation influence le monde de plusieurs manières. Bien que l’économie du monde, les politiques de chaque pays et les cultures différentes aient vu des avantages, la mondialisation menace l’économie de certains pays et l’environnement et crée un monde homogène, mais ces problèmes ne sont pas une partie exclusive à la mondialisation. En établissant des règlements sur le commerce pour empêcher les usages impropres de la main-d’œuvre et la croissance de la pauvreté, limite la pollution et la consommation excessive et encourager la diversité de la vie, la mondialisation peut continuer d’exister sans les effets désastreux. L’élimination de la mondialisation ne supprimera pas forcement les problèmes. Il y a la possibilité que cette action contre la mondialisation puisse heurter davantage le monde.

En conclusion, je pense que la mondialisation n’est pas une force à combattre mais doit être acceptée comme quelque chose de très bénéfique pour notre monde. Nous apprécions beaucoup d’avantages de la mondialisation maintenant, et les avantages continueront de grandir en s’améliorant avec le règlement de commerce et les limites sur la consommation des ressources limitées. Nous ne sommes pas parfaits et ferons des erreurs en ce qui concerne la mondialisation mais ce qui est important est que nous reconnaissions ces erreurs et les fixions, sans pour cela supprimer complètement la mondialisation. Il y a de l’espoir pour le monde mais avec un peu de travail.

Yes, I Know My Poetry

2009-11-21T14:57:00.005-06:00

So, since I have no time to write a new blog, I figure I might start showcasing what I have been working on these past few months.

We will start with my paper on Shakespeare's 27th sonnet (yes, I know I'm a finance major).

On average, I take from about an hour to two hours to fall asleep each night. Before my mind can shut down, it must first walk through my entire schedule for the next week, choose a weather-appropriate outfit for the next day, manage my finances, solve my latest Sudoku puzzle, select Christmas gifts for my family, day dream about the cute boy at church, and think about several other unimportant subjects. In addition, my mind is usually not content until it can analyze the value of meditative breathing for insomnia or contemplate the effect of sleep deprivation on sanity as well. While I crave to rest my exhausted body, I also cannot stop myself from giving more of my time thinking of such things. My overwhelming desire for them overrules my need for sleep. William Shakespeare’s twenty-seventh sonnet describes this oftentimes frustrating struggle between the needs of the body and the desires of the mind

In this sonnet, Shakespeare depicts a particular night in which he cannot sleep. He explains that, while his body is exhausted and demanding rest, his mind is still at work, bringing thoughts of the object of his affection. Instead of heavy eyes that close of their own accord, his are wide open, searching for that which he wishes to see, and when his mind creates an image of his love within the shadows of his darkened room, he is completely and utterly entranced by the picture formed in his mind’s eye. Any thoughts of sleep are forgotten. Shakespeare is neither excited nor angry about this occurrence but rather states his predicament as if it just a normal fact of life. Even though he has an overwhelming and obvious need for rest, his desires will always take precedence. He has no choice but to accept these circumstances no matter the consequences.

Like with all of Shakespeare’s sonnets, the theme of his twenty-seventh is split into four parts: three quatrains and a couplet. In the first set of four lines, the focus is on Shakespeare’s physical exhaustion and his need for rest after a long day of work. Shakespeare then contrasts this description of the body with portrayals of his mind’s liveliness and activities in the last two quatrains. The second quatrain specifically explains to where the mind wanders while the third quatrain illustrates the images that the mind brings back from its journeys. Then in the concluding couplet, Shakespeare reveals his acceptance of the situation, despite his lack of rest.

The organization of these sections facilitates the recreation of the event for the reader and ultimately lends to a better understanding of Shakespeare’s struggle. Since the descriptions of the body and the mind are separated into distinct sections, the conflicting nature of the two is emphasized, but the unequal distribution of the poem’s quatrains to each subject highlight the overall strength and success of the mind over the body. Shakespeare’s exhaustion was no match for his imagination. The sonnet is more than just a contrast between physical exhaustion and mental activeness though. Because the sections were also arranged chronologically, the sonnet becomes a story with the reader as its main character. What Shakespeare feels and sees is what the audience feels and sees as well. The emotions he experienced can be shared through this narrative structure much more fluently than with any other arrangement.

The sections of this sonnet though would be nothing if it were not for the small nuances within each line. The poem sticks to the conventions of a sonnet in that it is in iambic pentameter with a rotating rhyme scheme, but slight changes within these conventions accentuate the main theme. The first word of the sonnet is an example. “Weary” consists of two syllables in which the first syllable is stressed. An iambic meter though is the opposite of this. It begins with an unstressed syllable. This opposition draws attention to the word which describes the condition of Shakespeare’s body. Because of the extra emphasis due to the odd placement of the accent, his condition is underlined. Also noticeable within the first quatrain is a deviation of beats on the third line. The other lines of the quatrain all contain eleven beats, but the third line only contains ten. This calls extra consideration to the subject matter at this part of the section. It is here that Shakespeare’s mind is first introduced into the poem which is an integral part of the theme, and the difference in beats signals its importance.

The conflict between body and mind that Shakespeare undergoes is greatly conveyed to the audience as well through his word choice and personification. Terms, such as “weary,” “toil,” “expired,” all accentuate the exhaustion of Shakespeare’s body by inserting a sluggishness into his actions, making it seem as if he is doing them in a foot of mud. His rush to bed changes from a quick and easy task to a long and arduous one with the use of these words. In addition, the heaviness added to Shakespeare’s body by the phrase “drooping eyelids” also increases the overwhelming and disabling nature of his exhaustion. On the other hand, “jewel”, “beauteous”, and “new” all convey the intense and young energy of the mind. With the use of these words, Shakespeare’s imagination contrasts sharply against his physical condition. Instead of the heaviness and sloth of the body, the mind appears light and full of color. Also through the phrases such as “begins a journey,” “zealous pilgrimage,” and “presents thy shadow,” the mind becomes more than just a piece of Shakespeare. It begins to take on a separate personality, develop its own thoughts and dreams, and come alive. Because of this personification, the mind seems to jump throughout the sonnet as it wishes and overtake the poem. It is through this effect that the reader can firsthand experience the struggle with his mind of which Shakespeare writes.

In the end, all the conflict, imagery, and personification that shapes Shakespeare’s twenty-seventh sonnet was ultimately written for one thing: the object of Shakespeare’s desire. Whatever this object may be, whether it is his writing, his wife, his children, it is what wears his body during the day and excites his mind during the night. There is never a time when he can find reprieve. It is all-consuming, and it is in this place that I, too, find myself when I lie down in my bed at night. Wherever my body’s work stops, that is where my mind begins, and it is all for that which I love. Now when three in the morning rolls by, instead of angering thoughts and curses, I may just think about Shakespeare’s similar problems with insomnia and find comfort. But then again, there is always Ambien.

Strange Dreams

2009-10-10T21:07:00.006-05:00

Because I am an insomniac, it is very rare that I dream.

I'm either rolling around in bed for hours, my mind wide awake, or I'm too drugged up on some sort of sleeping medication to dream.

Neither have been the case for this weekend though. There are several reasons why this could be: I've exhausted myself beyond all reason, I'm relaxed because I had an extra day off this week, or because of the weather (you sleep better in a cooler room). Whatever the reason may be, since I'm sleeping like a log, I get to dream for once.

So what did I dream about last night?

Apparently a mad scientist decided to experiment on pregnant women a few years back, and what resulted was a superhuman kid who could single-handedly destroy the world. So me, the daughter of a rather overbearing hamburger restaurant owner, and a Navy Seal were forced to fight against all odds to protect the other child experiment that could help the world from being destroyed by the other evil child.

In the end, the mad scientist was killed by his own creation, the good child experiment helped take down the evil child experiment, the Navy Seal and I fell in love, we adopted the good child experiment, and we all lived happily ever after.

...Yeah, that's what I thought too.

We've all been told that dreams are a window into the subconscious. Through our dreams we can determine our hopes, our fears, our problems.

But I really don't know what this dream was trying to tell me.

Let's start with the burger restaurant my "father" owned (This guy wasn't even close to my real dad. He was short and bald). There was this assumption throughout the dream that I was supposed to take over the burger joint when he died or else (I don't know what this "else" was, but I was scared of it).

Maybe I'm really craving a cheeseburger?

Then there was the evil child experiment. He would just walk by, and tanks would explode. I remember he wore cornrows and baggy pants. Amazingly, that wasn't the odd part about this character. At one point in the dream, he walked past me, and afraid that I would be destroyed, I began to fan him (because he looked hot?). My plan worked though as he smiled at me and continued on his way without tearing me to shreds.

Did I get hot sometime during the night?

And then there was this Navy Seal. He didn't even appear until things were blowing up around us, and then all of a sudden we were getting married and adopting disturbed kids.

I'm 20 years old. I'm not desperate like Fran Drescher on The Nanny. What the hell is that all about?

I'm concerned.

Insomnia Rantings: October 5th, 2009

2009-10-05T00:02:00.003-05:00

Ah, Monday.

I see that you have finally come.

I had wished that we could have postponed our meeting until 6:30, but I should have known that was a fanciful wish.

See, it's not that I don't like you, but I like to be prepared when we do meet, and one of the ways I prepare is to get a good night's sleep.

Insomnia, though, has ruined my plans.

I don't know why he chooses to bother me so often. It seems pretty childish, keeping me awake on nights before exams or the first night of the week. I can't help but think that insomnia would be such a productive person if he stopped being such a pain in the ass.

And he's always got friends that are just as irritating as him. Stress, PMS, annoying neighbors, oh, the list goes on. They all help insomnia in his quest to prevent sweet dreams and rest.

If only I could squash them all.

In the meantime, Monday, I must make another attempt at sleep. I know that we just met up, but some sleep is better than none.

Until then,
Kira

'Tis The Season To Be Jolly!

2009-09-29T21:04:00.003-05:00

I am longing for Christmas right now.

Yes, yes, a break from school and homework would be quite the blessing, and presents are always welcome.

But that's not exactly what I'm thinking about.

Right now I am thinking about nighttime, snuggled up in my pajamas and slippers. A cup of hot cocoa warming my hands as I listen to the gentle sounds of Frank Sinatra's "The Christmas Waltz." The strand of pink Christmas tree lights around my window twinkling away as the night grows deeper. The soft scratching of rain, sleet, or snow against my window.

I am thinking about the cold night air, my breath puffing into a visible cloud as I walk along the decorated campus. A long pea coat tightly fastened over my cozy sweater. A pink scarf tightly wrapped around my neck. Soft green gloves surrounding my fingers and thick socks warming my feet. The light thumping of my boots as I meander along.

I am thinking about the laughter, the joy, the love, the calm.

I can taste it on my lips, along with eggnog and candy canes. I can feel the quieting down deep in my chest.

Why can't all days be like that? With an excitement, a happiness, a restfulness that fills the air?

With the sun still baking the city of Austin, the homework still growing at an alarming rate, and my patience spreading thinner and thinner with every single day, the hope of Christmas seems so, so far away.

But even just a thought, no matter how small, can change the entire course of a person's life, and the thought of Christmas has done just that.

I feel cuddly and warm, peaceful and satisfied. A tiny smile won't leave my face.

Thank you, Christmas. Thank you. You have been my saving grace.

Insomnia Rantings: September 29th

2009-09-28T23:54:00.003-05:00

Whoa, it's been a long time since I wrote one of these, but I've got a question in my mind that just won't let me go:

Why doesn't insomnia ever make any sense?

Seriously. Never does.

Why is it that insomnia hits when you are the most exhausted? Your mind and body are tired. They need rest and won't function much longer without some. What could insomnia possibly want with someone who is so tired that they are pretty much useless?

Why aren't you more exhausted when you only get six hours of sleep? I've been told since I was a child that my body needs a good eight hours of sleep each night. Without it, there are supposedly severe complications. Since insomnia is a biological reaction, how could it even present itself in the body if it requires more rest?

Why would the coffee I drank over 14 hours ago still affect my ability to sleep? I've heard it takes 8 hours for caffeine to work through the system. So 14-8 = still not enough time???

Insomnia, you perplex me, you little devil.

Surviving the Fall of '09

2009-09-22T11:00:00.011-05:00

On Facebook, there is a group called "I Survived the Blizzard of '06."

It is, of course, referencing the Colorado blizzard that shut down several of the major cities on the last week of the school semester, right before Christmas break in 2006.

But the more I think about it, I didn't really survive the blizzard. I more enjoyed it. Sure, the snow made driving anywhere difficult for days, the power went out, and I was always cold, but I had never felt more at peace and relaxed. My life had been dictated for that last month by school assignments, exams, and Christmas shopping. The blizzard came right when my stress was at its peak.

It froze time and allowed my mind (and my heart) to regroup.

Right now though, it feels like someone sat down on the my life's remote control and pressed the fast forward key.

Two weeks before school started for the semester, I got hit by a car while on my bike. Then during the following week, my mother had a health scare, and money was stolen. The week after that school started along with a slew of papers, projects, problem sets, quizzes, and exams that just won't STOP!

Oh, and did I mention that my phone got shut off twice while all this was happening?

When I arrived at the library this morning (after waiting for my first bus which was late, missing my second bus, and sitting in traffic because of an accident), I felt out of breath and weak, like I had just spent the past hour and a half running in, well, the middle of the desert: hot and burned, exhausted and anxious, out of water to sooth my dry throat.

The last place I wanted to be was in my Shakespearean Theater class. Drama was the last thing I needed, but as I walked to my seat, there lying on the table was my exam from the last week. A great big hundred was circled at the top of the page, with the words excellent and super written along the margins. The paper I had deemed to be a hasty mess pulled together in frustration had been loved by my professor.

I did not fail despite the madness I felt.

Now, as I sit in the small computer lab of Trustee Hall, I feel the scorching heat fading away, and a soft rain falls outside.

I think I can survive the fall semester of '09.

Love Games

2009-08-24T13:34:00.006-05:00

This past weekend, I decided to embark on an intense mission throughout Austin to find a rare (and possibly extinct) creature. I've heard it exists, but like with Big Foot, sightings are few and hardly credible.

I would like to find love.

Now mind you, I'm not looking to fall in love, just to see it. (It's kind of like the Eiffel Tower. Everyone wants to see the real deal during their life time but doesn't want it taking over their backyard.)

On Monday during the first day of the semester, I began my search on campus. Hundreds of students running around, teachers flittering about. There had to be something there, right? So through the hallways of Ragsdale, between the bookshelves of the Scarborough-Philips Library, and over the grassy knolls, I hunted love down.

But instead, I found blank stares from Freshman, one guy who just doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut, an overly strict professor lecturing a student about their lack of knowledge, and a guy with the clap.

So disappointing.

I was determined though to find love within this cruel world of ours! I would not stop!

But as the week continued, friends were ignored, beliefs criticized, horns honked, swear words uttered, and Sheldon the Schwinn thought it would be absolutely hilarious to get his chain stuck on the way to school one morning. (He just couldn't wait until we got home. Tisk.)

So now, I'm beginning to wonder: is it just me or do we suck at loving?

I mean, just the other day, I saw someone walking across the sacred St. Edward's seal, and instead of explaining to the person the tradition of walking around the landmark, I pointed and made fun of them with my friends.

Brownie points, I think not. In fact, I probably should go make that poor girl some brownies for acting in such a childish manner. I know that, if it had been me in her position, I would have been scarred for life.

Freshman year was hard enough and had it not been for the love of my family, my church, and my school I probably wouldn't have lasted through a week, let alone the past two years.

I may be having a hard time finding love, but I'm not helping things either. I know it's somewhere here in Austin. I can smell it, feel it in the air, and I will find it eventually.

I just might have to look inside me first.

Fall Semester 2009

2009-08-23T16:30:00.006-05:00

'Tis the night before school starts, and my brain has pretty much ceased to function in any intellectual manner.

Maybe it was Remarkable Creatures by Sean Carroll that I just finished reading for my internship that consumed all my brain function. It could have been the hours I spent yesterday playing archery on Wii Resort. Or maybe I'm just feeling extra, well, stupid because all I've eaten today was an apple fritter and part of a blueberry muffin (or was it blueberry coffee cake?).

Whatever the reason, thoughts of the school semester starting tomorrow are ominous and overbearing.

First of all, tomorrow morning, I will report as intern to a freshman class for which I have no informational or preparatory materials. Oh, sure, I've got the books for it, but if a student were to ask me a question about a future assignment or the structure of the class, the answer I have to give is, "Um, huh?"

Then I've got Intermediate Accounting with the thousand pound book. How I'm going to get that thing to school and back...Now that's a good question.

And we mustn't forget French. You know, the abusive boyfriend I've neglected for four months? Oh, I cringe at the thought of meeting again.

Despite my probable destruction, I have come up with some fairly decent (at least in my opinion) first-day-of-school survival plans:

1) Begin morning with overcaffination by coffee to help propel the day forward and dissuade any freshman or homeless bus stalkers from interaction because of crazed look on face.

2) Utilize previously mentioned accounting book for extra weight in bag to also dissuade the aforementioned scary people and increase strength in the lower back region.

3) Pack a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and fruit bar for lunch to increase energy levels during midday and to keep the stomach area from cramping due to food poisoning or price gouging at school cafeteria.

4) Designate emergency exit plans to library, Premont Hall, or chapel in case of sudden need to escape from students with hangovers and overdeveloped egos.

5) Between each class, stop, take a deep breath, admire the scenery, and then run to next class/meeting before dying from heat stroke.

6) Walk fast and without hesitation to evoke an air of confidence to boost self-esteem.

7) Lock bike in favorable location for ease of access after class or during possible alien invasion.

8) And last but not least, pray that God will have mercy on your soul.

I'm pretty sure that if I follow these eight steps I should be alright.

Ha ha ha. Who am I kidding? With my luck these days, I'll be lucky if the apocalypse doesn't commence the moment I step on campus (although, that would make a great story...). I guess the moment has come for me to put on my big girl panties and face the music.

St. Edward's, ready or not, here I come!

Can You Handle The Truth?

2009-08-19T18:38:00.003-05:00

My senior year of high school, my AP English literature class had a debate over whether humans are innately good or innately evil.

When we were splitting into teams, about 75% of the class chose to support that people are naturally disposed to be good.

I was not part of this majority. Instead, I joined the small grouping of pessimists on the left side of the room. (The Goodies, as we'll call them, overflowed their corner and blocked the only available exit, which I have to admit was somewhat intimidating.)

What commenced afterward is what I would consider a fun time. The Goodies were so frustrated and overwhelmed by our amazing arguments that hours after the class had ended everyone was still debating it.

That's some good teaching right there.

But anyway, it's over two years later, and I still feel the same way. People's natural tendency is to act evil.

My own behavior is enough evidence. Whenever someone comes to talk to me, I automatically think for something interesting about my own life to tell them. Forget what they want to say. It's all about me.

Now I guess that in itself isn't exactly evil, but what if they need help or some advice? If I'm too caught up in my own life, I can't provide to them what they need and that in turn can be harmful to them.

And if someone ticks me off? Well, I wouldn't mind if something unfortunate happened to them so they could learn a lesson.

So nice, right?

Seriously, it's so much easier to act badly. We can lie without a second thought. As children, we had to fight the urge to steal, and who wasn't mean during middle/high school?

I don't like the idea that I'm evil. I don't like to think of the bad things I've done and will continue to do, but I can't just ignore the fact just because I feel uncomfortable.

It's a tough truth to bear but a truth none the less, and we need to accept it. We need to take responsibility for it, and maybe with a little accountability from friends and family, it's possible that we can do just that.

I think I can handle it. Can you?

Cartoon, Cartoon!

2009-08-17T21:14:00.006-05:00

Tonight, I must speak about the most important thing in a child’s life: cartoons.

I just love the little buggers.

In fact, I loved cartoons so much in high school that my television was perpetually on Cartoon Network. It was all I watched (until House and the Office of course).

And since I know you all were wondering, here are some of my top cartoon picks:

#1. The Powerpuff Girls
- Now, now, don’t get your knickers in a bunch over this. I know that the characters had high pitched voices and the background was full of bright pink hearts, but this was a quality show for kids! With sugar, spice, and everything nice, these girls had a lot to learn when it came to being normal kids. Good hygiene, sharing, and pushing past fears are only a few of the great lessons they had to learn, providing a great opportunity for the audience to learn as well. Add in some Chemical X (or butt-kicking action), and it’s no wonder why this show was so popular! It was fun, entertaining, and educational. Also, any show that can turn puffer fish into deathly monsters will always win my vote for taking the risk.

#2. Danny Phantom
- This must have been the start of my love for ghost hunting reality shows, but this cartoon wins some serious creativity brownie points with me. I mean, a kid who accidentally turns on a ghost portal making him a half-human/half-ghost fighting machine? Awesome! The characters actually have depth in this show as well! For example, the show is mostly centered on how Danny’s newly found powers affect his friends and family and what he must do to keep them safe. Jealousy, conspiracy, and sacrifice will all keep you on your toes, and I can’t help but wonder if Danny and Sam will ever admit that they love each other!?!?!?! Oh, the suspense is killing me! The show is also action packed from start to finish. Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!

#3. Naruto
- Okay, so this is an anime, but this show always leaves me just speechless. It has it all: action, character development, comedy. There’s something for everyone to like, and each episode will leave you grasping for more. There really is no way of knowing how it’s all going to end (unless of course, you cheat like me and read the manga as well). The tricks used for the fight scenes are so mind blowing as well that you’ll want to watch it over and over again. I also have to give this show props for having such likable and realistic characters. You can’t help but feel invested in their well-being. With every success is the need to throw a massive party. With every failure is the need to hug the television to death.

Alright, so those are my cartoon picks, and boy, I feel like a kid again talking about them.

But now I must know: what is your favorite cartoon show? Everybody's got one, and I want to watch it!

Insomnia Rantings: August 17th

2009-08-17T00:48:00.002-05:00

Today is going to suck.

The state of Texas may only be an hour into the day, but I already know this because I have to get up in 6 hours yet am so jacked up on adrenaline and the sugar from all those cookies I ate earlier that chances of falling asleep soon are slim to none.

And I do believe the first law of life is: No Sleep + Kira = No Bueno.

The number one problem is that as the sun rises in the eastern sky, the first test run of my route to school will commence, and I'm not going to lie. I'm kind of scared to death over the idea.

I know. I know. It's irrational. It's just a bus. People take them all the time. If something goes wrong, well, there's always tomorrow, and that's what test runs are for, right?

But as I've said before, anxiety is my curse. This is something I've never done, and it's something that I don't believe I was ever properly trained for.

And I can't help but think, "What if the bus driver doesn't see me taking my bike from the bike rack and runs me over?"

I've already been hit by a car, so I know it can happen.

If that weren't disturbing enough, I am also contemplating how I'm going to keep my school books dry when it rains. (I'm thinking a large poncho for coverage is the best.)

And have you heard about the fare rate increase that's supposed to start this year?

Oh, Lordy, it's going to be a long night. Thank God there's coffee for the morning.

Hats Off To You!

2009-08-15T20:08:00.006-05:00

So last night, I had the pleasure of going down to Lockhart, Texas where a group of friends and I grilled, chatted, and danced the night away behind Texas Hatters, a well-known shop where cowboy hats, fedoras, and derbies are made and restored.

Originally started by Manny Gammage and currently run by his daughter and family, the shop has been visited by celebrities such as George Lopez and carries the fame of topping several U.S. Presidents.

I LOVE stores like this.

There was something about walking into the small-house-turned-shop that brought you back to an age that was simpler and happier.

The walls were covered with hats of all shapes and sizes, pictures of celebrities, signed autographs, and historical memorabilia. Every corner was filled with something to entertain the eye and sooth the soul.

Looking around, I found tradition and history that I rarely find at other business establishments. Even though it was after closing hours, I knew that I would be treasured and treated with the upmost respect if I ever returned, as if I were their most important customer.

There was no lack of creativity either. Pink and orange cowboy hats, purple fedoras, and belt buckles 10 inches long were only some of the great products that Texas Hatters offered. I wanted to buy everything.

And how many places can you think of that fixes their burgers out back on a Texas state shaped grill?

Maybe it was the food (to die for), the weather (finally cooling down a degree or two), or the music (Texas country all the way). Maybe it was just the people, but I walked away with a well being that is so rare to find these days.

Texas Hatters wasn't just a store. It was a home.

And as someone looking to enter the business world someday soon, I hope to follow their example.

It's Alright, It's Okay

2009-08-13T11:02:00.003-05:00

I have no love for anxiety. In fact, I really hate it.

Obviously, anxiety and I have a history.

My first real episode happened at the start of my freshman year of college, on the plane to Austin for move-in, I was stuck in the restroom as my stomach pitched and my throat clenched. I hardly ate for days. Then when classes began, every time I sat down to do my homework, my heart would start pounding, and I would feel like if I didn't get up that I would either fail or, you know, die.

I remember one day calling up my mother, crying, telling her that I felt like something along those lines would happen (I'm really sure she appreciated that one).

A few months and a lot of biofeedback therapy sessions later, I had somewhat of a control on my anxiety. I didn't feel like I was going to fail, puke, or die all the time and was a pretty happy person overall.

Yay me!

But like a drunk photograph on Facebook, anxiety doesn't just disappear. It lingers in the shadows until it sees an opening.

My opening was inactivity. If I didn't have anything to distract myself, well, it wasn't long before I was back to my old problems.

It was the worst at night while lying in bed. There you can easily get worked up thinking about unrealistic goals, all that could go wrong trying to reach those goals, and how much you've failed to reach them so far.

For me, the sensation started in my ankles. They basically screamed for me to get up and do something or, you know, fail, die, whatever. Then my heart would pound, keeping my mind awake to continue the mental assault.

And I've got to tell you that is the most annoying thing at 2 o'clock in the morning on a school night, and as the clock ticks away the remaining time available to sleep, it's not unusual to think, "Kira, you have to get control of yourself. You HAVE to."

And that only makes things worse. Much worse.

The past week has been tough and riding on its curtails has been anxiety. I can't help but wonder why though everyone else can seem to control their anxiety as it comes during weeks like this yet, for me, I feel attacked and conquered. It's like a war - a war that I lose every time.

And I'm really tired of losing.

Thank God for my mom though. She, knowing that I was feeling a little stratched, introduced me to a website by Dr. John Fishbein. On the site, he walks through depression and anxiety, describes the common misconceptions about it, and talks about how to correctly deal with both conditions.

And apparently, I've been preparing for an unnecessary battle. He says, "Trying to force unpleasant feelings to go away is like trying to put a grease fire out with water -- it just makes things worse. It is better to acknowledge and accept the fact of 'feeling anxious,' while beginning or continuing to do something constructive, until the emotional wave passes.

I do bring this up for a reason other than just to reminisce about my personal struggles. The last week hasn't just been hard on me. Life has been kicking everyone down through health problems, family deaths, or whatever.

So with this piece of advice from Dr. Fishbien, I was to encourage those who are struggling like me with worry and anxiety to band together. It's going to be uncomfortable, but with each other, we really will get through it and come out of this, not only alive, but better and happier people.

It's alright, it's okay. I know it will be.

Please visit Dr. Fishbein's site for more on dealing with depression and anxiety.

And for the song that is stuck in my head, check out It's Alright, It's Ok by Ashley Tisdale (yes, I know she's from Disney Channel...shut up.)

The Happy Family

2009-08-11T17:04:00.011-05:00

Today, I have a very important announcement to make. I have another addition to the family.

Everyone say hello to Sheldon the Schwinn:

He's a beauty, ain't he? While he is still a mountain bike, he is much lighter than my previous bicycle and fits me a whole lot better as well (I may only be 5'6, but about 70% of that is leg). The gears are much nicer to shift, and overall, riding this guy was just much more enjoyable.

Even the whole gang is excited about my purchase:

I am so relieved now to have this bike search come to an end. I don't know how they did it in ancient times, but walking everywhere was not fun.

Especially not in this heat.

It also takes a load off of my chest as school looms closer and closer. The bus system and friends have always been there for me, but those two aren't always reliable. Also, now going to Walmart for school supplies won't be such an endeavor.

But now I've got to say this: I can't wait to get a car.

I have really tried this summer. Really, but I hate biking! And in case recent events haven't shown you, biking is dangerous! I don't feel at all safe while I'm on mine, and I can't help but worry all the time about a flat or a broken chain or something that would keep me from using it.

I know that all of this can happen to a car, but out of the three months that I've been biking, I've had more problems with my bike than any car I've ever driven. Hell, I can't even remember having a problem with a car.

And I got my first ticket while biking! How the hell does that happen?!?

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? (Goodness, doesn't that saying just make you want to puke?)

Well, I guess I can't do much about the car right now except pray that it will come one day and that my bike can last till then. It'll be the Tour de France of prayer.

Because I'm really going to need a miracle.

UPDATE: Stitch tried to take Sheldon out on the town, but the helmet slowed him down:

My Room Requires Padded Walls

2009-08-09T21:32:00.003-05:00

Okay, so since my accident on Thursday, I've been kind of stuck in my house. Between healing from my injuries and having no real form of transportation, I haven't been much further than my mailbox.

But in Pookachino Land, that's never a good thing.

See, my mind tends to do weird things when left to its own devises in small rooms. It travels to bizarre realms which causes things such as panic attacks and anger fits.

I could tell that this would be the day for that if I didn't get outside and go somewhere and do something. (My taste buds had already lost their marbles. I inhaled a PB&J sandwich, 2 grilled cheese sandwiches, and applesauce in less time than it takes to say "antidisestablishmentarianism.")

So obviously, I was concerned and made plans such as going to church and seeing friends.

But alas! My plans were foiled!

All of my usual rides to my church in Buda were all out of town (damn weddings), so in order to attend, I was going to have to bug some other poor defenseless church goer to drive out of their way to pick me up.

After being hit by a car and already having to ask for rides from the airport, to the doctor's, etc, I was kind of tired of that.

But I can't not go to church. I needed to go praise my Lord and Savior before I completely went off the deep end from my apartment seclusion. I had to find another location.

Oh! And there was one! Just a few blocks away, totally within walking distance. And they had a 6PM contemporary service.

Bingo!

So my plans were set. Search for bikes throughout the day and then attend church at 6. YES!

But God said "No!"

My bike search came up with 2 good prospects, but I was too slow. The bikes were sold to other speedy Craigslisters, and I still have no transportation.

And then, as I began my trip to the church a little after 5, I heard the most horrific sound.

Boom!

I clutched my small tote bag containing my Bible and notebook closer in fear and looked to my left to see my worst enemy. A thunderstorm!

So I ran back to my apartment and made it just in time for it to start pouring, and when the rain stopped, it was too late to head for the church. I would never make it in time.

Instead, I went to the gym.

So what have I learned after all of this?

If you snarf down two grilled cheese sandwiches in record time, God will stop you from doing everything you planned until you go to the gym to work all that butter and fat off.

The end.

We All Scream For Ice Cream

2009-08-08T21:19:00.008-05:00

Since I'm craving ice cream tonight and it's the only thing I can think about, I figure it might as well be the subject of my next blog entry.

At this moment, I am thinking about the Elvis special at Amy's Ice Cream, a very popular ice cream chain in Texas. In this concoction is Mexican vanilla ice cream, bananas, and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Absolute heaven!

I love peanut butter, so I'm usually a sucker for anything that contains Reese's, Butterfingers, Tagalongs, bladdie-blah-blah. The other night, a friend and I went to Sonic where I enjoyed one of those $1 Jr. Candy Sundaes with Reese's.

They may look small, but yummy-yum-yum in my tummy.

Now, whenever I want to enjoy ice cream at home without having to go anywhere, it's Ben & Jerry's all the way.

Oh, how difficult it is to choose one!

Cherry Garcia is a wonderful blend of vanilla and real cherry chunks. One Cheesecake Brownie is the perfect balance of tangy cheesecake and rich chocolate. Oatmeal Cookie Chunk is the refreshing version of an oatmeal raisin cookie, and Mint Chocolate Chunk is like a cool summer breeze in the Rockies.

It's all sending tingles up my spine!

And let's not forget my favorite Dairy Queen treat: the marshmallow sundae.

Yes, that's right. Marshmallow. It's like a mystery in a cup. Because both vanilla ice cream and marshmallow topping are white, you never know just what you might be biting into, but it's guaranteed wonderfulness in your mouth every time.

Fantastic, I know, but that's ice cream for you.

Bike Vs. Motor Vehicle

2009-08-07T22:30:00.003-05:00

Okay, so yesterday, I got hit by a car on my way to the store. Thankfully, I came out of it alive with just a few scraps and bruises (Sorry, but Huffy did not survive the accident).

This entire fiasco though has taught me a few things:

- Scrapping your knee is actually a really disgusting injury (there is yellow stuff dripping down my leg, and it's getting all over the place!).

- Sealing wounds with honey and a bandage is supposed to help quicken the healing process.

- Walking around while saying that you got hit by a car that morning is really an odd experience.

- Paramedics have a great sense of humor. Cops do not.

- Getting x-rays of the ankle and knee is really awkward (and I can only suspect hurts like hell when something is actually broken).

- Raspberry Colada snow cones are fantastic!

- The Jr. Candy Sundaes at Sonic are also fantastic.

- My cell phone battery doesn't last more than three phone calls.

- And last, but certainly not least, I have the best family and friends in the world.

I can't believe how much love and support I have gotten in the past couple of days from these people. Whether it was a ride to the doctor or just a call to check in, everyone was willing to help out and do anything to make sure I was okay. The response was unbelievable and more than I could have imagined.

You know who you are, and I want to thank you for all the love you guys have given. This would have been an absolute catastrophe without y'all!

You deserve all my love and so much more!

And on that note, I shall leave you with something that is as funny as it is disturbing. My butt:
Oh, yeah.

Death to the Coffee Shops

2009-08-05T20:02:00.008-05:00

Today, I read a very disturbing article on the Wall Street Journal website.

Apparently, coffee shop owners in New York have been restricting laptop users. Some locations have established times in which laptops are not allowed in the store while some have completely banned laptops all together.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Are you SERIOUS?!? Do they want to lose their customers? Because honestly, that's exactly what will happen.

I can understand some of the concerns these coffeehouse owners are having. People are coming in, buying the cheapest drink possible (or not even buying one at all), and then occupying tables during rush time.

I can understand why that would be frustrating, especially when electricity bills are on the rise (someone on Twitter apparently had to sell his kidney in order to pay his), but restricting laptop use is not the way to handle this!

Coffee shops have the reputation of being laptop-user friendly. Freelancers love cafes in order to get out of the house, and the unemployed and students love them because they provide an atmosphere that helps them focus on their tasks at hand. Coffeehouses are even great to help people relax for a couple of hours.

By banning laptop use, coffee shops will lose a part of what makes them so appealing. They won't be a great place to meet friends or write an award-winning novel. They won't encourage creativity or motivate. They will become just like most fast-food restaurants out there.

Dull, dirty, and disappointing.

Obviously, most coffee shop owners aren't feeling very appreciated, and I think we should do something to tell them that they are. The next time I go to a coffee shop, I'm going to get a fancy drink and tell the employees just how much I love the place.

Because I really do, and I would feel incomplete if something were to happen to it.

If you'd like to read more about this, check out wsj.com for more information.

Book Me

2009-08-04T14:35:00.011-05:00

This summer, I have read a good many books, and I think it's about time I gave a review of them.

So here we go:

Breakpoint by Richard A. Clarke - I was not impressed. The story line sounded interesting: communication hubs around the world are being destroyed, threatening the security of the world. The actual content of the book though was Boring (yes, with a capital B). I didn't know that a story about espionage, government secrets, and bombings could be so uninteresting, and if that weren't enough, the characters had no personality. I couldn't connect with them and really wasn't too concerned about their well-being or success. In the end, I didn't finish the book feeling like I had gained something from reading it. I felt like I had just wasted a couple days of my life.

Sundays at Tiffany's by James Patterson and Gabrielle Charbonnet - This book was adorable. No, I wouldn't suggest it to any guys (unless you're into romance novels), but girls, this is a definite read for those warm and fuzzies. The premise sounds a little weird (a girl meets up with her old imaginary friend and falls in love), but it works somehow. I've got to admit that I didn't like how none of the questions were really answered in the end though. Such answers could have given the book more meaning and depth. Sundays at Tiffany's was so well-written though that it didn't hurt the story line too much.

Sinner by Ted Dekker - I was dying to read this book, but it didn't really meet up to my expectations. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but maybe something with a little more action, intensity, and definitely a better ending! I couldn't quite believe that this was indeed a Ted Dekker creation. His works usually are so creative and out of this world that you just can't put the book down without finding out what happens. Sinner, sadly, stayed firmly planted on the ground. No risks were taken with this novel. Also, Dekker's books usually attempt to challenge the reader and teach something, but the only challenge I felt was finishing the book. I can only hope that the author is working on another addition to the series in order to redeem it.

Fatally Flaky by Diane Mott Davidson - It's difficult not to enjoy these mysteries, and this one I especially enjoyed since it's placed during wedding season and my sister is getting married. With some comedy and actual recipes, these books are always fun, but I've got to admit that the formula Davidson has been using is getting a little old. She's published 15 books with the same character (and yes, I have read them all), and the same thing always happens. Someone dies, Goldy gets interested, she bakes, then the murderer comes after her when she gets too close to the truth. The book may have maintained its light-hearted nature, but I didn't have to try too hard to guess the ending.

Shoe Addicts Anonymous by Beth Harbison - Okay, being a shoe addict myself, I couldn't help but read this book, and again it was a cutesy story but left me wanting more. The book follows four women who love shoes but not their lives, and together, they help each other overcome their problems. To me though, it seemed that for a good portion of the book the characters really did nothing and got no where, and the ending was as climactic as, well, my dry erase board. There were some humorous moments, but not enough for me to buy the sequel.

Well, there you have it. My reading adventures weren't necessarily very successful this summer I guess, but with so many books out there, you have to hit a few duds before you can get to the good stuff.

In the meantime, I'll be reading for my upcoming internship. I'll let you know how it goes.

How Writing Became Fun

2009-08-03T12:51:00.003-05:00

I have issues with talking.

It's hard to describe exactly what I experience during a conversation, but it's not a very comfortable experience (and to others, I can seem a little..."special").

So I prefer to write.

This wasn't always the case though. I am naturally fabulous at numbers: math, science, Sudoku. Lovely, lovely fun. I think in fifth grade I was put in the normal reading and writing class and could barely maintain a B, while in math and science I was the superstar.

But obviously that didn't last long. The struggle with reading and writing I mean (I'm still a rock star at math and science).

I can't remember the defining moment that I started loving literature. Maybe it was somewhat of a progressive love, but as the years went by, I wanted more to read, and I actually came to enjoy writing my papers (well, some of them at least).

When high school started, I was always in need of a new book! I always had one stuck in my hand, or thrown in my backpack, or on my desk. They were everywhere: the living room, the office, on my bed, under my bed. I wasn't happy without a book to read.

It wasn't until my senior year of high school though that I really came to realize just how fun writing could be.

At the end of my senior year, I took the AP English Literature exam (Don't be so shocked!).

On the test, there are three essay questions that the students have to answer, all of which ask for a text to be analyzed and discussed. Two out of three provide a text to read. The final question allows for any book to be analyzed just as long as it is a book of "literary merit."

My English teacher, being the great influence she was, dared us to make up a book to write about.

Now by the time I went in for the exam, I had already used up all my brain power on my Calculus test (and I was kind of mad that I had to study for this test on my birthday instead of celebrating), so I thought, "Why not?" In the end, I scored high enough to receive college credit.

But I enjoyed that test so much.

There's something about taking an idea, a picture, or a person, and describing them, analyzing them, and moving them through writing. At first there was nothing, but now, a whole world can emerge.

I may be good at math, but I come to find that words > numbers. They live. They are dynamic, and they can inspire. Numbers...uh...not so much.

Cheers to you, writing! You have given me so much joy.

A Financial Mess

2009-07-29T19:13:00.010-05:00

The other day, I heard a rather interesting story. It left me kind of flabbergasted, but I thought it merited retelling.

Picture this: A daughter - early 20's, still in school, average build- and her father - let's say 50's, tall, thick build - sitting in their living room, watching television (let's say they are watching House) in the late afternoon.

The father, after finishing the paper, decides to start a conversation about the daughter's finances. How much is her cost of living, how much is she getting paid, are there any holes in her budget, etc.

The conversation then turned to a small stipend the girl receives from her grandparents to help while she was in school. Depending on how much she needed and spent, if she hadn't used the entire allotted amount by the time she graduated, the remaining balance would be given to her in one fat check.

The daughter is trying her hardest to make sure that last check was as large as possible.

But the father says he's concerned about her covering all of her expenses. He encourages to ask for even more money than she has previously and that the extra withdrawal would be perfectly justified.

When he's finished explaining his reasoning, the daughter states that if he could just reimburse her for her school books like he promised, such actions wouldn't be necessary.

Well, the dad apparently doesn't have the money, and he explains to his daughter that because of the economy his income was even more unpredictable than before, so it might be awhile before he could fulfill his obligation.

As the conversation dwindles down, the daughter realizes she had been played. He knew she was going to ask for the money, and rather than face up to the issue, he cowardly tried to steer her into another direction. She tries to temper her anger as he blabbers on about how the family had been supporting their young for several generations and that he would like to continue that tradition.

Then the doorbell rings.

It's a court summons. The father must now go to court because the mortgage had not been paid in quite a while.

Hilarious, right?

I didn't think so. In fact, I find a story like this frightening (and it definitely makes my stomach grumble).

But this kind of stupid and misguided advice about money combined with horrible role models is not rare. It's actually everywhere. Television, online, school, friends. You can't get away from it!

For example, a couple of months ago, my sister (who is a year behind me in school) was approached by her bank to increase her credit card limit to $10,000.

Cause college students can so pay back $10,000 at the snap of a finger.

Idiots.

Talk about the blind leading the blind. The girl in the story, fictional or not, should have been able to go to her father and receive solid advice about saving and investing, but instead she got some crap about spending.

A college student should expect his or her bank to know when to cut off the credit and to teach when and where to spend. They need guidance and responsibility, not temptation and frivolity.

If we don't start taking responsibility for bad advice like this and working to fix it, then our economic problems are only going to get worse (And I don't mean the oh-I-guess-I-can't-afford-that-new-jacket-at-Macy's worse. I mean eating-newspaper-off-the-street-for-dinner worse).

I may only be 20, but I know when an accident is about to happen. And we're about to have a head-on collision.

The Credit Cramp

2009-07-27T20:10:00.007-05:00

About a week ago, I read Shoe Addicts Anonymous by Beth Harbison (cute book but the ending was a wee bit unsatisfying).

One of the characters of the book is a shoe-aholic who is $30,000 in debt because of her uncontrollable spending habits.

*Shudder*

As if that isn't enough to make my hair curl (and my hair is pretty fricking straight), throughout the book, this character won't stop buying shoes. She sets up an account on eBay to "save money" after finally visiting a credit consolidator but her competitiveness ends up causing her to spend more than she planned.

Since she's finally getting help to pay her bills, her credit cards can handle it now, right?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

My current book is making me all the more sick to my stomach. Titled Lovesick (by Alex Wellen), the main character maxes out all of his credit cards and empties his savings to purchase the perfect engagement ring. Then he's faced with paying for the actual wedding.

It's his wedding though, so it's perfectly fine to get another credit card for it, right?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

AH! What are these people thinking?!?

I know. I know. They are just fictional, but they represent real people! They are all around us making stupid, stupid, stupid (did I mention stupid?) decisions like this every single fricking day! Does credit crisis ringing any bells?

I hear about our nation's economic problems frequently, and the one thing I hear all the time is that people are not spending as much as they used to.

Lies! All lies!

I've never seen more spending in my life, and I'm dead serious about this. I'm hearing about it all the time: I need this. Let's go do that. Let's travel here. Oh, it's not that much.

Just pull out the plastic, and everything's a-okay!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Don't believe it! It is not okay! Credit cards are meant for emergencies or investment opportunities, not (AND I MEAN NOT!) for maintaining a person's preferred livelihood.

If you can't afford it and don't need it, don't buy it. Say no to the Gold.

It's okay. Say it. Noooooo... See? Easy.

Sigh. This is going to take awhile.

I'll Pass On The Wine

2009-07-18T16:22:00.005-05:00

So last night, mi madre and I had the pleasure of attending the play Arsenic and Old Lace which was put on by the Front Porch Theater in Scottsdale, Arizona.

The actors did an amazing job. A sign of great acting is always when you think someone is going to get hurt, and these guys were flying across the stage, climbing on furniture, and throwing things all over.

It was crazy yet absolutely wonderful.

Where did all these wonderful shows go?

My freshman year of college, I was required to attend a musical for my freshman studies class, and I will admit that it was a very well done show.

But it was missing something. I remember walking away not being particularily moved or impressed.

It wasn't until last night that I realized what was missing.

Passion.

The Front Porch Theater is completely community driven. None of the actors get paid or recieve any sort of benefit from doing the show other than some fun memories and the pride of a job well done.

I know that being part of a show is a consuming thing. Back in high school, my entire spring was dictated by the musicals I was a part of (and I was never more than just a principle dancer). We would show up at school by 7am and stay until 10pm during the week, and weekends would be time to either catch up on homework or practice dance steps.

It was insane, but every time I got up there on stage, I loved it. I wouldn't have gone through all that chaos if I didn't.

And I saw that same joy and commitment in the faces of the Arsenic and Old Lace cast.

I didn't see it my freshman year of college.

Sadly, those in the cast of the show during my first college semester are the people who will be our entertainers, not the performers of Arsenic and Old Lace.

Sure, they'll put on some great performances, but we'll come away feeling unsatisfied, wondering if we missed something. No one can fake passion, and that is what we need.

Maybe I'm just channeling the main character of last night's show, Mortimor, and his critiquing nature, but after a show like that, it's hard to lower expectations.

To the cast of Arsenic and Old Lace, I salute you. May all your future acting endeavors be just as amazing as the last.

A Spark of Controversy

2009-07-17T16:39:00.006-05:00

Recently in the state of Arizona, a bill allowing guns into alcohol-selling establishments was signed and passed. At the same time, a bill allowing the burning of sparklers was vetoed.

Now, from what I've observed, the majority of the Arizonan population agree that this is absolutely ridiculous. I, too, have shown my displeasure at the legislation by wearing none other than my I ♥ Sparklers t-shirt (I don't even live here, but a life without sparklers is like a life without Jimmy Choos: dull and ugly.)

We understand the risk that fireworks pose for a state that's dryer than the Guadalupe River this summer, and so it is safe to assume that we also understand the pros and cons our legislators had to consider. The last thing we want is our beloved Fashion Square Mall to go up in flames (Save the Louis Vitton!).

But to allow guns into bars isn't the better choice.

I'm all for letting Americans own guns, but I am definitely not for letting Americans be irresponsible with guns, which is what this bill seems to allow.

Alcohol and, well, anything is never a good mix.

What was the reasoning on letting this pass? The gun would help control bar fights and other crimes usually associated with drinking?

Oh, yeah, that will totally help.

Sadly though, while everyone is shaking their heads in disappointment at whomever was supposed to be a government leader, I can't believe anyone is really shocked that any legislator would, in fact, allow such stupidity.

I mean, when was the last time we were really impressed by our elected officials?

Millions of dollars are spent during election years to pimp out these "great" candidates, millions of stickers (bumper and other) are passed out, and probably billions of heated debates are started to prove each politician's worthiness to be a government leader. In the end though, no one is truly happy with anything our legislators do, and the world only seems to get worse and worse.

I don't know about you, but I personally am becoming numb to all the political scandals. Spitzer, Blagojevich, whoever. The names go on and on and on, and this upcoming year will only bring more greedy, horny, and just plain stupid politicians.

So how on earth are these people expected to protect and improve the United States? I'm starting to sense a bit of self-destructiveness on our part.

I want to stop being so hard on our legislators. They are only human, right? They are bound to make mistakes.

But if we continue to excuse their behavior and decisions in such a matter, then it will become common practice. They weren't voted into office just to do whatever the hell they wanted. They recieved their position to do what WE wanted, and if we say they aren't doing their jobs well, they need to listen.

JFK encouraged us to think about what we could do for our country, and I think we should start by telling our elected officials that they are screwing up (massively). The truth isn't always rainbows and puppy dogs, but it certainly is as necessary as the air we breathe.

And our politicians are suffocating.

The lack of oxygen to the brain could explain a ridiculous ruling such as the veto on sparklers, but stupid doesn't always mean permanent. There is a spark of hope for the future. I'm gunning for it, and I think there are a few politicians who feel the same way too. The problem now is finding them.

Too bad we can't use sparklers to light the way.

The Tale of The Bike Creeper

2009-07-15T22:44:00.007-05:00

Today, while waiting for the light rail to come pick me up after a day at my internship, I met an interesting character. Not that I wanted to in the first place, but it happened none the less.

It all started when I sat down at the rail stop...

I was in the middle of texting my mother, letting her know I was on my way, when this strange fellow wheeled up to me (he was on a bike that looked like it was made for a four year old).

The first thing he said was that my teeth were very white and not beer stained or anything.

Oh, thank God! I was wondering...

Anyway, since what this man said wasn't anywhere near my list of charming introductions (even Pluto would be too close), I smiled stifly and nodded, hoping, beyond all hope, that this guy would go away.

He didn't.

Of course, after that, he had to ask me if I was taking the light rail to go home from work. Again, I nodded, acting as disinterested as possible, but the guy couldn't take a hint. Instead he rattled on about how last year he, too, used to take the light rail to work (never mind that it wasn't even in commission this time last year) until he became the victim of unemployment, and oh, yeah, could I spare him a couple quarters?

I told him I didn't carry cash or change and couldn't help him out.

And still, he wouldn't leave!

Then the guy started asking about my age. He wanted to try a guess. 26? 22? No. Oh, 20? Ever drink a beer?

Oh, yeah. All the time. In fact, I was drunk beyond all belief as we spoke.

NOT! Instead, I told him that I didn't see the point.

I guess it was then that this guy finally started to realize that I wasn't going to give him money, buy him booze, or sleep with him. He held out his hand, which I did shake only to have to cling to my ring to keep him from slipping it off.

Trying to hide his attempted theft, the creepy dude felt it was necessary to tell me that my nails were extremely pretty, especially the ones on my toes. They were nice and shiny, which is what guys liked.

Thankfully, the man left shortly after that, and I quickly moved in the opposite direction in which he was heading. When I finally boarded the light rail, I gripped on to my purse, ready to attack anyone who might mention my pearly whites or blond hair (oh, yeah, did I mention that this guy asked me if I dyed my hair?).

That's it. I'm getting a gun.

Encore? I Think Not.

2009-07-12T23:13:00.005-05:00

So, my mother and I have recently had the time to see two popular movies that are now in theaters.

The first one was The Hangover. The second, Public Enemies.

I thoroughly enjoyed both movies, but will probably never see either one again. The Hangover was just a bit too raunchy for a girl like me (and kind of scared me out of getting married just for the sake of avoiding the bachelor party), and Public Enemies was too long for the level of suspense.

But, oh, my goodness gracious, dear Lord in heaven. Have mercy on the people I am about to talk about.

Because they are idiots.

That's right. They are idiots. Stupid people to the core (you know, those ones that Bill Engvall believes should wear a warning sign?).

But why are they idiots?

Because they brought their frickin' kids to the movie!

I could not believe my eyes when I saw that little four and two year old walk into those theaters with their parents. I was especially appreciative when, during Public Enemies, one of these families sat right next to me.

Are you kidding me?

I understand that parents need to get out for a date night every now and then, but if you are going to a rated-R (hell, even PG-13) movie, don't bring your little kids along. They have no business being there!

One time when I was babysitting, the eldest of the two girls that I was watching (which I have to say is probably the most fearless child I have ever met) didn't want to go to bed because she was too scared that the bugs from a cartoon she watched earlier in the day would come eat her while she slept. I'm pretty sure that movies with naked people jumping out of trunks and gunslingers shooting at each other is probably going to have an even worse effect.

And bringing your kids to these movies isn't just damaging but so so so so disrespectful!

We pay how much to see the show? No one is going to enjoy the film if there is a little kid squirming around nearby the entire time INCLUDING the parents.

I don't understand what these couples were thinking, but they deserved to be slapped for subjecting their kids and fellow moviegoers to such idiocy.

Heed my warning, parents! I have a massive handbag, and I will use it if presented with such stupidity again!

P.S. Bradley Cooper is beautiful.

Stalking The Neighbors

2009-07-09T21:33:00.008-05:00

My neighbors across the way seem to be partial to slamming doors.

I don't know why this is, but what I do know is that it scares the crap out of me every time it happens. I don't believe they are angry people. In fact, one time when I was returning to my apartment from retrieving the mail, they, too, happened to be returning to their abode. The couple were chatting and seemed to be in a good mood for the most part.

But I can't help but wonder.

What is their story and why do they slam the door so much? I guess the most logical answer would be that they are just in a hurry and don't have time to make sure the door closes softly and quietly.

But what are they in such a hurry for?

They could just be late for work. Or maybe they just like to make it known to the world that they are indeed entering or exiting the apartment. Maybe one of them is part of some secret agent spy conspiracy and is making his actions obvious as to attract the attention of the enemy who is keeping him under strict surveillance. Who knows? Anything's possible.

Then there's the guy in the apartment across the street.

He's always on his phone out on his patio. I can never hear him talking nor does it ever look like he is talking, yet his phone is always placed up against his ear. He paces to and fro and then eventually walks into his apartment where I assume he either prepares for the rest of his day or watches television. Every now and then he will have some buddies over, and they like to sit on the patio whenever there's a storm coming.

I want to know who or what this man calls almost every day. Is he just checking his messages for whatever job he may have? Maybe he has to call his boss up to find out what his tasks are for the day? He could just have an addiction to musak and finds it calming in the morning.

But, then again, it is possible that he's the enemy spy trying to look inconspicuous while keeping tabs on my secret agent neighbor.

In the end though, I don't know these people's stories, and I may never know them.

I find that sad.

These people have a life, full of events just like me. Some may actually be more interesting than mine. I love to lose myself in the imaginary world of a novel or television show, but who knows if the most interesting story line is just outside my window?

I guess I'll just have to keep on looking, and maybe someday, I, too, can be a part of some grand event. But in the meantime, I hope that you all will share with me your story. I can't wait to hear it.

And maybe then I could stop stalking people. ;-)

Lucky To Remember

2009-07-08T12:15:00.024-05:00

Whenever we could, my dad, step-mom, sisters and I would all travel up to Yankton, South Dakota where my grandparents had lived for most of their lives for the Fourth of July.

In our younger years, my sisters and I would spend most of our time swimming in the pool, catching rabbits, or making come sort of craft. As we grew, the crafts turned into my cousin's Sega gaming system, the catching rabbits turned into catching the latest television shows, and the swimming turned into trips to the lake. Soon, the gaming and television watching disappeared, and my sisters and I entertained ourselves with cards, books, and trips to the golf course or the Tastee Treat just downtown. And let's not forget the cone farm...

The one thing though that we always enjoyed on our trips to this small, northern town was the fireworks.

When we were small, my dad only purchased the most generic of fireworks: sparklers, smoke bombs, and roman candles (which we were not allowed to touch whatsoever). As we grew though, so did our purchases. Fountains, rockets, artillery shells. Those roman candles became toys in our eyes.

Our skills of firework detonation didn't come without a few near disastrous episodes though.

One year when it was just my dad, Kensie, and me for the summer (Ky couldn't get off work), I nearly lost my left eye. We had gone down to the Louis and Clarke Dam, and a clueless family next to us shot off some spinning fireworks on the rocky shore. Needless to say, one shot toward me, smacking straight into my glasses. The lenses are still a little smoky to this day.

Then there was the one year when the four of us seasoned firework technicians let my cousins join in on the fun. My older cousin was fine with the pyrotechnics, but my younger cousin...We learned the value of the word "Run" that night.

One summer as we were shooting by the lake, the weather took a dangerous turn. As we were burning through our boxes of sparklers, a police car drove across the dam warning all campers to head for cover as we were under a tornado warning. The fam and I paid no attention to the police man until Kensie pointed out a funnel a few miles away.

Good times.

But we weren't the only ones with the great firework endeavors. I remember one year, the city of Yankton lined up a fountain along the length of the bridge that connects Nebraska and South Dakota over the Missouri River. The mix of the sparks falling to the river below and the balls of light flashing up into the sky was a great sight indeed.

There was also the year of the 7 ft firework. That was the front page story on the paper for weeks!

I've grown up though, and things have changed. I am no longer in Colorado, living within an hour's drive of everyone. My new life is thousands of miles from my hometown. My sister, Ky, is getting married, and my sister, Kensie, is adjusting to a life in college. My grandpa died over a year ago, and my grandma just sold the house in which we all stayed during our Fourth of July visits.

So this past Fourth of July, I stayed in town instead of traveling up to Yankton. The only family member I saw was my mom who flew in for a week of vacation.

Despite the change, it couldn't have been a better holiday.

From Fredericksburg to Austin, we gazed at the artwork of famous G. Harvey, visited as many local restaurants, coffee shops, and bookstores as we could, and ate as much as our stomachs would allow. On the Fourth we walked down to Auditorium Shores and listened to the Austin Symphony as fireworks blasted over Town Lake.

This year was somewhat difficult because I missed out on the last trip to Yankton, but the events of this past weekend more than made up for what I was missing. As my mom's trip comes to an end, I feel no regret, only satisfaction. I have another holiday weekend to add onto my great list of memories, and I already can't wait for next year.

I hope your Fourth was just as explosive as mine. It certainly put a spark in my life.

An Ode to Anticipation

2009-07-01T14:40:00.010-05:00

Oy, anticipation! Look at what you do to me!

I can barely even write because you have so disabled my mind. I can only focus on what is to come and not on what needs to be done now.

If it were not for my friend, Coffee, the floors and my nails would probably have remained unpolished. If it were not for my friend, @lafinguy on Twitter, I would not have a subject on which to write for today's blog. And if it weren't for my mother, I probably wouldn't even be aware of what time it is!

Oh, anticipation! How you torture me so!

The past month has been gray and intolerable because of you! Instead of enjoying my freedom to relax and do whatever I wished, whenever and wherever I wanted, I could only imagine the greatness that was to come.

Like in the movie Click, starring Adam Sandler, I could only think in fast forward.

As if my mental disruption weren't enough, my sleep will be robbed of me tonight, my excitement ten fold as I lay there in bed, dreaming of the long awaited events of tomorrow. Rest will be forgotten for I will only want to be running to the prize.

For goodness sake, anticipation! Why do you do this?

Why do you make the heart beat so fast and so hard? Why do you distract so fully and so frequently? You are controlling and arrogant, so proud in your ways.

But come tomorrow, you will leave. You will be gone, and in your absence, I will enjoy the events of which you have taunted me for so long. They won't be the intangible future, but the here and now, the world around me.

I do not hold the notion that you will forever stay away. You're work is not done. August will bring more for which you will latch on. The excitement, the sleeplessness, and the distraction will return and reek havoc once more.

Anticipation, though you mess with me so, I will look forward to the day I run into you again. Because with you gone, there is nothing in which to live for.

So come quickly and without delay for my hope and my dreams depend on you.

Bloody Business

2009-06-30T18:44:00.007-05:00

In the first season of House, a successful business man by the name of Edward Vogler donates $100 million to the hospital at which House works with the stipulation that he was made chairman of the board.

I don't know about you, but to me, that just screams trouble right from the beginning. The character's first appearance on the show is actually kind and inspiring, but of course, the man immediately dislikes House and begins to reek havoc on the hospital in order to get rid of him. His main reason for wanting House gone was that he was bad for business.

Vogler says it over and over throughout the story arc. House is bad for business (Blah, blah, blah...).

Never mind that Vogler was in charge of a hospital whose purpose was to supply medical to care to all in need. The bottom line took top priority.

Obviously since this happened in the first season and the show will start its sixth season in the fall, Vogler doesn't last long in the series. He eventually leaves after the hospital board rebels against him for fear of what he might demand, and House happily (okay, miserably) returns back to his normal life (Oops, spoiler alert?).

Goodness, I love that show, but that's not why I'm writing.

I want to focus on this whole "It's bad for business" thinking. We hear it all the time nowadays. It's all about cutting costs, raising revenues, padding the bottom line, and living the good life. Anything that might be even the least bit detrimental to that is immediately isolated, placed on a space shuttle, and shipped to deep space, never to return.

I'm finding as I grow older that one of these "detriments" is customer service.

Very few companies really care about their customers. Seriously. It isn't unusual for a company to think in terms of "selling the product/service" instead of "providing the product/service."

Let's take airlines for example. They want to make revenues by flying people to and from multiple destinations, right? They will sell tickets by attempting to provide the lowest prices while still covering all their costs. That's great if you need to get somewhere, but what if you planned a trip and your grandpa dies? Usually the cheapest airline tickets are non-refundable, so unless you have some sort of blackmail (like a mother who works for a press outlet), you can forget about a refund.

They sold the service, and that was all that mattered.

But as I was explaining before, that doesn't necessarily help the customer. What if your grandpa did die? It would be helpful to get a refund and then use the money to either book another flight to the funeral or help pay for the funeral itself, right? Sure, you purchased the ticket, but you didn't utilize the service. It was never provided to you, so why should they get to keep the money?

I know. I know. The company wants to provide some sort of security for themselves by providing these non-refundable tickets, but they usually don't leave much of us with a choice.

Have you seen the prices of business/first class tickets? I can't afford that! Hardly anyone can, but that's how they get you. Companies aren't stupid. They KNOW that the majority of people can only afford the cheap non-refundable tickets, and they suck it for all its worth.

Basically, what most companies want is to get the most amount of money without actually having to do anything to earn it.What's the word for that? Oh, on the tip of my tongue...

LAZINESS!!!!!!!

Hey, you corporate fat cats! I work hard and so should you. Stop worrying about having a security blanket! You are adults so start acting like it! I guarantee that catering to your customer needs will provide you with more than just a security blanket. You'll have the whole frickin' CIA of protection in the form of returning, satisfied customers.

It's not what your customers can do for your company, but what your company can do for your customers!

And if that's not enough motivation, well, remember the Vogler. House wins.

The Shoe, The House, and The Peanut Butter

2009-06-29T15:33:00.016-05:00

I don't know about you, but bills piss me off.

They are a fact of life, I know. But, grr. By the time they are all paid and done, I feel like I've been stabbed in the back with a muddy, rusted knife and then run over with a lawn mower and then left to cook in the 105 degree Austin weather. Of course, it never fails that, once I've recovered from the bill onslaught, it's the next month and the torture starts all over again.

It's amazing though how a thin sheet of paper can make me forget about all that I have and hold dear.

I am a very fortunate person. Sure, I don't have a big house, or a car, or anything really substantial, but I certainly have enough (this becomes extremely clear whenever I move). If I really take a look at all my possessions, I do actually own the finer things in life.

For example, my shoes. I love shoes (except those evil monstrosities called Crocs).

I don't know how many pairs I have, but it's enough to severely limit my closet space. It might seem shallow, but I love every single boot, stiletto, and flip-flop. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. Just adding a pair of red stilettos to a white tank and black slacks can add that little extra bit of oomph to give you all the confidence you need!

Guys, I am sad that you will never get to experience the feeling one gets when hearing the click-clack of their heels on a marble floor. Ooh, I'm getting chills down my spine just thinking about it.

And of course, my House DVD box sets also give my life a five-star rating.

That show is so great to watch. Most episodes keep you on the edge of your seats as House and his team try to save their patients, and if the diagnoses aren't enough, the characters, themselves, are just fabulous.

Every season finale for the past five years have just been absolutely mind blowing. From ex-girlfriends to gun wounds to bus accidents to massive layoffs, the finales have yet to disappoint.

Also it might be a series on Fox, but it raises some great issues and questions the norm. It's like school in fun form!

Now I can't get all my education from House (even though I hate to admit it), so I do go to school, but I can't begin to tell you how my books have enriched my life!

It doesn't matter the subject of the book, but whatever it is, I always learn something new. The Chronicles of Narnia, What Would Kinky Do?, Business Statistics, whatever. They all bring me into a different world, a different mindset.

It engages my mind in ways that can't be done in a lecture hall, on TV, or on the internet. Through reading, my mind expands and grows, and eventually, I become a happier and better person.

And let's not forget about the food in my life. Ooh, la la.

Breakfast usually consists of two choices: eggs and toast or oatmeal and a PB&J sandwich. Both provide me with all that I need to start the day. They contain protein and a whole lot of taste. Combine that with some fragrant coffee, and boy, am I in heaven!

Lunch typically contains peanut butter. I just never get tired of the stuff. It has a wonderful taste, and it is definitely good for your body. Can we say yum?

Dinner is usually in the form of a variety of pasta dishes. Velvetta Mac & Cheese, Ramen, Spaghetti with Ragu or Alfredo, Past Roni. Some nights I just have such a hard time deciding!

I know. I know. It's like eating at one of the best restaurants in town!

If you're not convinced yet that my life is right up there with Brangelina and the President, it's my personal relationships that are the icing on the cake.

I have great friends. Whenever I'm in need for a ride, they are always there to help out to make sure I get where I need to go. They are always calling up and inviting me to dinner. They will give all that they have for you only to give out more when you ask.

As if that weren't enough, they are also great fun. Dancing, swimming, movies, whatever. They love to do it all and don't mind sacrificing a ton of sleep to do it. My friends are some of the most amusing, selfless, and caring people I have ever met. It's amazing.

The most amazing of them all though is my mom. She is the one who understands me the most and is there for me in my times of need. She lives hundreds of miles away, yet she can help with all of life struggles and calm me when it all gets a little too overwhelming. She does it all while cheering me on. Because of her, I was able to achieve much in my life.

And the last thing that makes my life just absolutely amazing?

God.

Yes, God. Like my mom, He's been there every step of the way. He's been there cheering me on, listening to my stories/problems, and picking me up when I've finally hit rock bottom. My life could have gone in a direction of severe pain, loneliness, and depression, but because of Him, I have the hope of a better day and the strength to make it to that day.

See? I have so much in my life (and more than I have time to talk about in this blog) that I can be thankful for. I really am a very fortunate person. So many people out there can't even dream about obtaining what I have.

So, bills, SCREW YOU! I can take you!

Cause I've got everything I need and more.

I Smile Because I Don't Know What's Going On

2009-06-27T21:32:00.008-05:00

From what I've heard, there are two first impressions of me.

The first is that I'm intimidating (My mom told me that, but I still don't believe it). The second is that I'm stupid.

Fantastic!

I mean, how could I not be? I've got long, luscious blond hair and blue/green eyes. I've got a high, bubbly laugh and smile at just about anything. My favorite color is pink, and I love to wear heels. Oh, yeah, and let's not forget my love of coffee.

I must be the biggest fricking idiot on the planet, right?

For goodness' sake, that assumption is so dangerous!

Lately, I've been enjoying the Twitter application, Spymaster, where basically you are a spy for whatever secret service agency you want. You are sent on tasks on which you can make money, can assassinate other Twitter spies, and buy all sorts of fun gadgets. Your Twitter followers are part of your spy crew.

It's a fun game. Twitter member PS1968 and I had a blast today planning an assassination.

I've also been reading a book lately, called Breakpoint, written by Richard A. Clarke. In the book, the United States' top technology is getting destroyed or taken over, and the story flashes to the viewpoints of several government agents and officials, fighter pilots, computer hackers, mafia leaders, etc, all who are connected to the incidents and may have an answer to who is slowly bringing the world superpower to its knees.

It's quite the cat-and-mouse thriller.

The online game and book both share a common characteristic though. There is never any certainty.

Everyone knows something different, and all information gained could be corrupted or completely false. Loyalties are doubful at best. Who knows whether the person standing next to you is going to help or kill you? Add on the uncertainty of the future, and there is absolutely no guarantee that any of us will survive the next hour!

So here's my warning: Don't assume that anyone is an idiot.

I may look and talk like the stereotypical valley girl, but how can you know that I am? Yes, I could spend my days worrying about my newest mascara, but there is just as much a possibility that I spend my days selling stocks and bonds while chatting to the President about relations in Iraq.

Can you be absolutely certain that my red stiletto heels don't contain an extractable knife or technology to signal a nearby missile to launch?

It may sound absolutely ridiculous, but anything is possible. Everyone has been wrong sometime in their lives, especially when it comes to other human beings. I know I've personally been humbled several times by my own faulty assumptions.

So the next time you meet a new person (or even if you are just meeting with an old aquaintance), DON'T ASSUME THEY ARE STUPID!

It might be the last thing you do.

Solitary Confinement

2009-06-26T15:20:00.005-05:00

Today is my Friday of Fury.

I've got a bone to pick, and I will pick it, damn it.

When I woke up this morning, I had no grandiose plans in mind. I ate my breakfast, biked to the post office and bank, swam a little in the pool, read a chapter of my book, and now I am spending time on my blog. I might go dancing with some friends later tonight, but ultimately it's been a pretty lax day.

And it was AMAZING!!!!

I feel so relaxed and productive. I mean, my friends that are away for the summer are going to get letters from me in the next few days. I got my work out biking and swimming. I got some mental stimulation through my reading. I even looked up fun activities for my mom and I to do on the Fourth of July and did the dishes.

I crave days like today, but you know what days like this have earned me among my peers for the past several years?

Disgust. Scorn. Mock.

And I have had it (HAD IT, DAMN IT!).

When did days like this become the standard for boring? When did they begin to signal social ineptness? Why is it suddenly not okay to enjoy these uneventful, repetitive things?

I love weekends where I can get up semi-early, watch some TV, read, and maybe enjoy a lazy dinner with a close friend or family member. I really don't have much of a desire to go out every single night until four in the morning with a group of people.

An uneventful weekend is just what I prefer, what I enjoy doing. It's what makes me happy and in my right mind.

I'm not saying that the late night lifestyle is something to be scorned at instead. A good majority of my friends love it, and it would be hypocritical for me to say otherwise. There is nothing wrong with going out.

I would just appreciate a little bit of respect for my choices.

That being said I feel like I should apologize to those people that I, myself, have mocked when I heard what they spent their day/evening doing. I shouldn't just assume that my idea of fun is everyone else's. No one should ever feel in this already short life that what they want to do is stupid or ridiculous.

What you may call solitary confinement could be my open fields. So please, let me run free.

Taking A Chance On Love

2009-06-24T20:35:00.009-05:00

Alright, all you single people out there. Check your gag reflexes. It's going to get sappy!

Tonight, we are going to talk about love.

Aaaaah.

It all started with a DVD I watched today...

The movie Amelie is a French film starring Audrey Tautou. The film is about a lonely, introverted girl who decides one day to change her solitary lifestyle for fear that she would die alone and unhappy.

As with most foreign films, the content is somewhat quirky and odd, but it is one of those stories that will make you feel warm inside. It is very easy to relate with the characters, and they give hope that we, too, may have a happy ending no matter how weird we may be.

But the path to a happy ending is certainly a steep one.

On Amelie's journey, she is presented with the opportunity of falling in love with a man she runs into one day. She spends most of the film sending the guy on small treasure hunts and avoids actually meeting with him, preferring to observe his actions a safe distance away. Ultimately though, she is forced to make a decision between remaining safe but alone or risking pain and starting a relationship.

Life's greatest struggle.

Who hasn't had the fear of getting their heart broken? As much as we'd probably like to think we are smarter than that, all people's lives are dictated by the fear of getting hurt.

We can't get away from it!

I remember once during summer break when I was either fourteen or fifteen years old that my mom and I were going to take a trip to New York. I can't recall what exactly incited my mother to get mad at me that day, but I do remember her asking me if I even cared if we went on the trip or not. She was so frustrated over my lack of reaction that I wasn't quite certain that she wouldn't cancel the trip just to teach me a lesson.

Amazingly we do it all the time. Something happens, and rather than react, we just passively watch it go by until ultimately whatever it is disappears or is forgotten.

In contrast to our passive reaction though, we consciously do this. We consciously act as if it doesn't matter.

Why? To protect ourselves. If it doesn't matter, how can it hurt us, right?

Wrong. Of course it hurts us, but unlike the sharp and quick pain of a broken heart that will heal over time, this passivity turns into a chronic and throbbing pain that slowly grows worse with age. Yes, think Gregory House and his cane. That's exactly what we do to ourselves.

As the movie Amelie nears it's end, one of the characters who was born with extremely brittle bones tells the heroine that she has the ability to bounce back from hits unlike him. He warns that her fear will take away that ability and make her fragile if she continues in her ways though. In other words, she will achieve exactly the opposite of what she wished.

So here's my challenge to you and to me (God knows how much help I need in this department): Let's just let it all go. Let's allow people see how we feel. Let's make ourselves vulnerable. Yeah, it could be disastrous, but then again, it could be absolutely wonderful. I'm willing to take the plunge.

How about you?

Not Another Hill

2009-06-23T20:07:00.007-05:00

At least, that's what I always think when I go for a bike ride.

I don't know about you, but for me, my bicycling trips always seem to be uphill both ways. It doesn't really matter where I go. That's just how it is.

If you don't believe me, ask my knees. They'll tell you that everywhere is just up a hill. It might look like it's at a lower altitude, but that's just a trick of the eyes.

And boy, do I feel the burn!

I am finding though that these long, painful, and uncomfortable bike rides are starting to mirror something else. My life.

Yes, I know the metaphor is pretty easy to figure out, but that doesn't make it any less true.

Life is an uphill struggle. It's exhausting, uncomfortable, painful, and just plain sucky. The thought of having to experience another hill makes me cringe and run for cover.

And if one hill isn't enough to kill you, guess what's on the other side of that steep, neverending mini mountain? Another hill. Another challenge.

The return trip isn't any easier either. There won't be any relief just because you've experienced the area before. I don't know how it happens, but those mountains are somehow shaped to never allow any type of reprieve. Forget flying downhill. It's just never as easy as you expect.

If you ever do find a downhill though, beware of the bottom. Most likely there's a 20-year-old gossiping on her phone and not paying attention in her brand new BMW. Life rarely gives anyone a break without some sort of payment.

After all these exhaustive trips, I usually arrive home ready to drop dead on my floor. Sweat is pouring out of every orifice, and I've just got to say that it ain't pretty. As soon as I've cooled down, I run to the shower to pull my worn out self together as best as possible.

But then, I smile.

Sure, my knees ache, my head is fuzzy, and I'm usually starving, but guess what? I survived. I worked myself down to the bone, but I reached home with enough energy left to write about it. Holy, crap, but am I proud of myself. Yeah, I did it.

I climbed every mountain!

Not only that, but I am much healthier. I fit into my clothes better. I've got a great tan, and I just feel more stable. My brain isn't running all over the place. It can actually focus on one thing at a time. I am a much happier person.

The same is true about life in general. Yeah, it's exhausting and just downright abusive, but if you play your cards right and just keep pushing on, you may find that you are a much more content and much smarter person.

Life and bike rides are a bitch. But they are so rewarding too.
This is a picture of "Huffy" et moi after biking 16 miles in record breaking temperatures today. Yes, I did take a shower before I took this picture.

I think now I have the right to go pass out. ;-)

Lazy Monday

2009-06-22T21:21:00.008-05:00

Everyone has their morning ritual.

Some wake up, shower, cook breakfast, read the newspaper, clean the kitchen, wake the kids, and perform just about every other known activity on earth before departing for work. Some just roll out of bed five minutes before the bus stops by. Many find an even ground between these two extremes.

I, though, decided to start off the day with a donut and some banana bread.

My choice of what to eat was rather arbitrary. I could have gone with the peanut butter and jelly sandwich or even cooking up a batch of spaghetti, but I figured that I better not let the gift of the donut go to waste from yesterday.

That being said, what else could I do after breakfast but go grocery shopping?

And boy, what a trip it was!

Velvetta Mac and Cheese, Ramen Noodles, Oatmeal, Bread, Peanut Butter, Jelly, Pasta Roni, and applesauce. Oh, my! My backpack and bike were packed to capacity. Milk and eggs joined my food stuffs after a quick trip to the Valero gas station just down the street.

Now my food choices were also somewhat arbitrary. I could have picked several frozen dinners or grabbed a variety of veggies and fruits. I could have just made the one trip to the Valero station and grabbed enough junk food to survive the zombie apocalypse (I personally plan to take out the Randall's down the street if it happens and slowly take over the surrounding stores. Would provide me with enough supplies and coffee to last a good long time). I figured though that the pasta and PB&J sandwiches have enough nutrients to last me for a few days and are a whole lot lighter and less likely to spoil.

After putting all my food purchases away in the kitchen, having worked up quite the sweat, I decided to clean up with a long shower. And what's a shower without some country music on KVET?

Now my music choice was rather arbitrary. I have a lot of music on my laptop. Most of it is country anyway, but a good portion is not. I could have just turned on the television and listened to whatever show was on at the time. I figured though that KVET provided a nice variety of classic country, which is very calming and amazingly uplifting.

Feeling pretty good and clean after my shower, I decided to watch the last of my House box sets for the rest of the afternoon.

It was a really arbitrary decision. I could have written to my friends at camp or worked on a novel or found some sort of short time job to kill time, but I figured I was at the best part of the season - when House finds out that Wilson is dating Amber (or also known as Cutthroat Bitch)! Amazing!

Yes, it was a lazy Monday indeed.

Anybody else bored?

Let's Talk About Dads

2009-06-21T20:04:00.010-05:00

Apparently, today is the day for memories.

Episode 4 in the 4th season of House, called Guardian Angels, has a patient who believes she can see and talk to the dead. One of the deceased in which she converses with is her mother. The episode ends with the patient being treated for some really big worded condition that I couldn't even begin to spell right, and her hallucinations go away. The show, of course, couldn't end without a tearful goodbye between the patient and the hallucination of her mother.

The scene was moving and gut wrenching (or maybe it was just my earlier OD on donuts), and I couldn't help but think of my own parents as the ending credits flashed onto the television screen.

Today, of course, is Father's Day.

My dad lives thousands of miles away from me in a country called "Colorado" (native people pronounce it Color-ah!-do, while Texans apparently pronounce it Color-awe-do) where the air is thin and turn signals are forgotten.

In other words, I was not able to see him on this day because of the distance. And I've got to admit that it kind of sucks.

Oh, I'm not gonna lie. Mi padre and I have a relationship that could use a few tweekings (a few, MASSIVE tweekings), but I got kind of sick to my stomach at the thought of not giving him a hug when he woke up or not seeing him laugh at the silly card I got him.

I missed playing a game of poker or double sol and stuffing our faces with cream cheese chip dip.

Twitter wasn't much help in alleviating my loneliness. The site was full of dads explaining what their kids surprised them with today. Others tweeted about lunch plans with the fam. I just twittered about hitting the donut jackpot this morning.

Good one, Kira. Good one.

Twitter was also full of memories about fathers who had already passed.

My mom sent out multiple tweets about my grandpa today. I was in eighth grade when he died, yet I know she still misses him like crazy. Hell, I miss him too. He was the epitome of the loving, jolly grandpa that you see in movies. Our family revolved around him, and when he died, it was just never the same.

That being said, family, no matter how dysfunctional (and trust me when I say that I know dysfunctional), is such an important part of life. I know it sounds cliche, but cliches don't come about for no reason. Family and relationships are things we crave and things we need. We are lost without it.

As much as I love House and glazed donuts, nothing can really replace that yearning I have for my own family (even if we do need a whole bunch of counseling).

And thank God I have the time to go visit all of them in the coming months. Otherwise, I would get really fat!

But let's not forget the most important thing of the day:I hope you all were able to make some great memories.

You've Got A Friend In Me

2009-06-19T18:41:00.008-05:00

Or do you?

Honestly, I'm not quite sure whether I really am a good friend or if any of us are for that matter.

Think about it. We are so selfish. Everything is about me, myself, et moi. I can't go a day without thinking about numero uno 99% of the time (the other 1% is split among coffee and House).

I mean, I frickin' LOVE myself!

Even the most insecure person loves himself. Why do you think we call them self-conscious people? Cause they are constantly thinking about themselves!

This month I feel like I have either been treated abominably by a friend or shown just how much I've fallen short in my friendships. I keep acting like this whole relationship thing is a one-way street. For example, I expect my friends to call me, to ask me how things are going. I, for some reason, have assumed that I would never need to return the favor. I can't waste my time calling them, but I certainly expect them to call me, and I get angry when they don't do exactly that.

It's absolutely ridiculous.

What the hell is wrong with me? That's an idiotic and unreasonable line of thinking! But we all do it for some reason.

It's like buying a car. We always want to get the best quality car for the least amount of money. The thing is if we completely skimp out, only paying the bare minimum, then we aren't going to have the greatest or most dependable car on the planet. It's going to fizzle out and be very unsatisfying.

The same is true with friendships.

I just finished the book The Shack, and in it, the main character and God discuss this very issue. We, as humans, always try to get whatever we can out of relationships. We usually go into one hoping to come out with more than we had.

But that's not a relationship. That's a business contract, yet we still keep on acting like the two are synonymous.

Yeah, how well is the economy doing? If we look deep down, we'll probably find that our friendships are doing about the same.

No wonder so many of us are in therapy or on antidepressants! We can't even truly connect with another person. It's all a contract, and contracts always come to an end, one way or another.

It's definitely going to take time to get past this whole infatuation with myself. I AM with me 100% of the time, but that doesn't mean I have to think about myself for the same amount. I've got plenty of time to do that, so I probably should give a little more effort into thinking about those around me. It's going to be tough, and I might never be completely successful, but it's something I should definitely try.

But enough about me. How are you?

Transform Your Life!

2009-06-18T21:14:00.004-05:00

I am so excited for the new Transformers movie.

It comes out on the 24th, and my head just might explode when it does. Nothing beats a bunch of robot aliens that can change into every type of vehicle on the planet.

That being said, the Transformers release is probably the most exciting thing to happen in my life this June. As sad as that sounds, it's true. Lately my days have consisted of tortuous bike rides, House episodes (not like there is anything remotely wrong with spending one's life watching House), and Sonic/Texenza daily trips. Occasionally I would even visit the library.

Ooh, how do I do it?

One good thing about my lazy June though has been that I have had a lot of time to think life over in general. I was actually surprised to find that I was not quite sure what I wanted to do when I graduated. I was able to reevaluate some of my relationships with my friends. I even decided that strawberry Dr. Peppers are way better than Blue Coconut Slushes at Sonic.

It was also a time of great accomplishment. I'm in much better shape. I made it through three seasons of House, and I have become better acquainted with the kitchen (even if it is just spaghetti and microwavable chicken breasts). I even finished a book this evening.

But, boy, I can't wait till it's July.

First of all, I love the Fourth of July. Fireworks and good, ole American cooking. I am already drooling at the thought. Second of all, I will get to see my mom and the rest of my family. I love living on my own in Austin, but it sure is hard without them. And finally, I will get my passport, and I will be able to travel anywhere in the world (you know, if I could afford it).

June, you have been a good month for me, mentally and physically, but you are driving me nuts. I'm ready to move on to the next best thing.

So July, here I come!

Need A Couch?

2009-06-17T15:01:00.010-05:00

I certainly do. In fact, right now I am sitting on one (it's actually a futon, but same diff) and watching my lovely House DVD box sets. If it weren't for the cushioned furniture, I would be rather uncomfortable and probably doing something that required getting off my ass and working (oh, the horror!).

But thank God, that's not actually a problem!

The couch has become the staple of American living rooms. When we move into a new place, besides a bed, a couch is one of the first things we think about buying. The television, tables, desks, and whatever else can all wait, but that sofa. Now that is a must. Who knows when you might need to crash on it some day?

I've slept on my fair share of couches. In fact, when I was younger, I frequently slept on the couch instead of my own bed. It all started when my sister caught a lung cold. The two of us shared a room, and my mom didn't want her to keep me up with her coughing. Because my sister was the one with the illness, I got booted to the living room. I must of liked it though. I didn't return to my own bed for several months.

Boy, I miss that couch.

That being said, I've recently been introduced to a fascinating phenomena. It's called The CouchSurfing Project.

A non-profit organization, CouchSurfing International Inc., which started in 2003, aims to bring the world together by opening the homes of people to others in need of a place to stay while traveling. Basically, you can go onto the website and either offer up your couch or find a couch to stay on. Anyone from any country could stay with or host you.

In the past couple of days, I've met several people who participate in this. They came from all over. One girl was from Belize, two others from Austria for a conference. One guy had quit his job and sold all of his belongings just to travel. Another was seeing the country before leaving for Paris, and all of them had become quick friends within a matter of a day. It was the non-computer version of Twitter or Facebook.

Amazing and a little bit crazy.

Who would have thought that something like that could happen nowadays? Inviting complete strangers into your home? I've never done it, probably never will (I've got space issues), but it's amazing to see the trust and love that they give to each other. It's inspiring and a great role model for my own relationships, no matter how I make them.

I hope the project is successful in it's mission, and if you're not into the latest internet networking sites, this could be a great alternative.

It's gnarly, dude.

To find out more about sharing the world's couches, visit www.couchsurfing.org.

Insomnia Rantings: June 16th

2009-06-16T01:56:00.006-05:00

The last time I couldn't sleep, I wrote a letter to insomnia. Apparently, he didn't get the message though that I don't appreciate his presence in my life.

And I am pissed.

When I came home, I was exhausted. Sitting at my computer, I could barely type up one single tweet. I wasn't too concerned about whether or not it was interesting or amusing, but I did want to express a quick thought on my evening. My arm was burning as I tried to give my teeth a thorough brushing, and my contacts grew irritable as my eyes dried out in fatigue. After one last trip to the restroom, I fell into bed thinking about the bliss of rest that was to come. And then it happened.

Bum-bum. Bum-bum. Bum-bum.

Damn heart. Couldn't it just relax too? Of course not. I'm trying to rest, and all I can hear is that fricking thumping. I can just feel it throb throughout my body. Of course this makes me angry, which causes my heart to only pump harder and faster.

I'm not quite sure what happened to the Ambien I took before lying down. Usually I can feel something, but right now? All I can feel is the soreness in my worn out knees. They at least are on page with me. They want rest too.

Amazingly, I think this entire fiasco is caused by a couple cups of soda I had about five hours ago. I knew there was a reason for my soda avoidance, and now I'm getting a very difficult reminder of it's very bad effects on my health and sanity.

Probably what I find so frustrating about tonight (more so than in the past) is a conversation I had with a friend of mine. The guy has a hard labor job throughout the day and probably has friend engagements every night. He always seems to be going to bed at midnight and waking up at dawn, yet he never seems to be tired or in need of rest. Curious about this phenomena, I asked him how long it took him to fall asleep. Basically every night, he has to make sure everything is absolutely settled and ready for the next day before he can touch his bed. Otherwise he won't be aware of it till morning.

Lucky son of a gun. Takes me two hours to fall asleep, and I wake up several times throughout the night.

When I babysit, I tend to get jealous of the kids because once they are settled, they are out for the count. It's so easy for them. No special thoughts or breathing. And no special medications either. Just blissful, natural sleep as soon as they lay down their little heads.

Sounds so good, yet so far away.

Dear God, please. Why is this so simple for everyone else? Why can't it be for me?

Carrie the Corolla, a Bitchy Bike, and Other Inanimate Objects

2009-06-14T14:30:00.009-05:00

Carrie the Corolla and I were best buddies.

A '99, beige compact hailing from Stevenson Toyota, Carrie was the best that any car could be. She met my mother first, but the two of us quickly became friends when I turned 16. We went everywhere together. The mall, the movies. She even came to all my choir events in high school.

As things changed though, after my senior year of high school, we went our separate ways. I moved to Texas for school, and Carrie moved in with my sister. We still keep in touch every now and then, and whenever we're together, it's like old times.

I'm still struggling to find a relationship like that nowadays. This past winter, I was able to meet Freddy. Freddy the Fender. He's a good guy. Reliable. Sturdy. Got a voice like an angel, but the relationship has it's issues. He is often hard to understand, and we clash cords a lot. So far, we've been able to maintain a friendship, but it's nothing like the harmony Carrie and I had.

But nothing really makes me dream of my old friend more than the acquaintance I met this summer though. I probably could not consider us friends because of the rather abusive nature of our relationship. I am speaking, of course, about my bike.

I don't know his real name, but he goes by "Huffy" (as stated across his sleek, blue frame). A sturdy guy, but he certainly enjoys making my life difficult. Just trying to get him upstairs before a storm is a miserable endeavor. Whenever we go out, just about every part of my body burns in pain. And let's not forget the endless number of scratches and bruises, shall we? I have to lock him up all the time.

What happened to the days where we treated each other with respect?

I care WAY too much about my nonliving possessions.

I don't think anyone can fault me on that. I couldn't replace much of my belongings if something were to happen to them anyway (We can see this with my lack of car at the moment). What I have is what I have, so to me, they are some of the most precious things on Earth. Even my abusive bike is special. It's like they have become a part of me.

I love you, my stuff. I love you.

I Love You (In A Hateful Kind Of Way)

2009-06-12T19:02:00.010-05:00

Cell phones make the world go around these days.

It's a great little invention. I'm sure we all know (and have all heard) the amazing things the portable devices have done for us. We can now stay in touch easier with people who live far away (Mi madre and I are grateful for that). It can facilitate business, and it can be a lifesaver.

I personally have the Blackberry Storm. It's pretty much a mini computer. I can check my email on it, play games, browse Twitter, and even edit Word documents. It's an awesome devise, and I love it.

But I hate it.

There is nothing wrong with it's PC capabilities. That side of it I just adore, but I really hate the phone in itself. I hate talking on it, and I wish it would just die.

Okay, not really, but I think I've gotten the extent of my feelings across.

It's just that talking to people on phones is awkward. I don't like it.

First of all, you can't see your caller's face. Who knows what the person on the other end of the line is really thinking? Everyone can fake enthusiasm with their voice. Plus, we have all seen those movies where people are rolling their eyes at some silent person in the room while their caller is divulging all their life secrets. I know I sound a little paranoid, but I'm pretty sure that has happened to all of us. Cell phones have only encouraged bitchy and catty behavior.

Second of all, cell phones really make life more stressful. It connects everyone to you at all moments of your life. Sure, we can turn off the ringer or the phone altogether, but we don't do that all the time. We let everyone access our time in the car, shopping, or watching TV. No wonder we all have space issues.

Finally, phones really just depersonalize everything. When you're telling a story or listening to one, you can't look at the person. You can't judge where they are in proximity to you. You can't determine their body language. I know I personally have a problem checking my email or doing something else while talking. Rather than develop relationships, cell phones just force us through them, and I often feel unsatisfied and lonely after a phone conversation, as if I've been cheated out of something.

I really do love my phone, but I would rather meet up with someone and hang out. Whenever my mom and I are together, we enjoy going to bookstores and reading or working on our laptops. We hardly say anything, but we establish a connection that goes beyond words.

Keeping in contact does not equate to having a relationship. Cell phones can help to set up get-togethers, but they will never fully substitute. There is nothing like good, old fashioned friendship.

Sorry, Blackie, but you have failed me.

Battle of the Cities

2009-06-11T19:37:00.011-05:00

This is going to get messy.

Phoenix. Austin. Denver. They are all powerhouse cities, each for their own unique reasons, but which is the best place to live?

First in the boxing ring will be Denver since I lived there the longest. My mom moved my sister and me to the Mile High city when I was a little more that one year old, and I left after high school for college. That's a grand total of 17 years living there.

Wowza! You'd think I'd know a little bit about Denver, huh? (Probably not, but shh. I didn't say that.)

Denver is a place that's easily accessible to a plethora of activities. Want to go hiking and camping? Mountains are right to the West. Want to go see a show? The Denver Performing Arts Complex boasts five theaters. Wanna see a game? Invesco Field and The Pepsi Center are all just a short drive away. Plus, I think the Denver International Airport is also pretty spiffy. If you're there, don't forget to ride the train!

Denver does have it's issues though. The high altitude doesn't help in air quality, and because of that, a view of downtown is rarely pretty. Smog is a normal occurrence. Also, the people aren't the nicest around.

Moving on to Phoenix.

I was born there (More specifically, I was born in Scottsdale, but it's basically the same thing. Just with more speed radar.) And of course, in order to be the location of such an awesome person's birth, it in itself must be awesome.

Phoenix is huge! Every time I think we've reached the end, it just keeps going. The great thing about this is that there are always new places to find and explore. Also, the town has the best mall I've ever seen - Scottsdale Fashion Square. The place is three stories high in some areas and still expanding (Need a workout? Go there!). They have a pretty great airport as well.

But the high quality malls hardly cover Phoenix's snobbishness. Arrogance is prevalent throughout the region and can make it difficult to make a living if you don't like to uphold the status quo. Downtown is also a snooze. Millions have been invested to revive it, but all attempts have failed. Plus, can we say 120 degree temperatures?

Last (but certainly not least) is Austin. The good ole capital of Texas.

Austin is just bustling with creative energy. Known as the Live Music Capital of the World, Austin always has some kind of music show going on somewhere. In fact, you may not be able to make up your mind because there will be so many options. The place is beautiful too. The architecture of downtown is extremely eye catching, and you don't have to travel far to find lush green hills rolling into forever. The airport isn't as big as the one's in Phoenix or Denver, but what it lacks in size, it definitely makes up for in character.

Austin though is definitely clogged with more traffic than it needs. Talk about bad urban planning, but the town is stuffed with roads and highways. It's hell to even bike there. And if the cars won't kill you, the humidity will.

So where do I think is the best place to live?

Okay, so you've probably already guessed (because I live here), but Austin is the winner. Ultimately personality wins out over all else. There are so many creative, kind, and passionate people here that I can't help but want to live in Austin forever!

And I can't help but love a city as weird as me!

I Love Myself

2009-06-10T18:34:00.005-05:00

Today, children, we are going to learn about narcissism.

According to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, narcissism is the excessive love or admiration of oneself.

I don't know about you, but I know that I don't have this problem. I used to, but I certainly learned how to deal with it. Everyday, I have to remind myself that it's not about me, and I always struggle with it, but somehow I deal with it and move on with my life.

Yeah, right.

M. Scott Peck stated in his book, People of the Lie, that narcissism is the main characteristic of evil.

Harsh, but is it really that surprising?

Lately, I've been reading The Shack by Wm. Paul Young. Very interesting book, and it brings up a lot of good questions and issues (For those of you who don't know, the book is about a man who meets and speaks with God in the abandoned shack in which his youngest child was murdered).

At one point, they discuss relationships (the relationship within the Trinity, God's relationship with us, and our relationships with each other), but ultimately, it is stated that we can't fully love or trust because of our desire for independence and individuality.

When was the last time you heard yourself say, "What do I want to do?" or "What would I like?" (Or "Should I watch Aladdin or another House episode?")

Yesterday? Today? Probably when you were deciding whether to read this blog or not?

We all do it. I'm no saint (There's that darn "I"). It's a scary world, and I've got to take care of numero uno, right?

But what does that ultimately end up doing? I plan my day the way I want. I get a job to make money for what I want, to give me something to do. So what about the people I run into every day? The people who run my cable or my internet? What about my friends and family?

Honestly, I don't know, and I rarely care as much as I should. They all having their worries, their hardships, their interests, etc, but they are so consistently ignored by me. How could I ever help them in a time of need? How can I even know what the hell is really going on?

No wonder why Peck says narcissism is so evil. It separates us from the world and limits what we know.

Bummer, man.

I'm Walking On Sunshine

2009-06-09T20:24:00.006-05:00

Ever heard of the show Intervention?

Apparently it's really popular (well, as popular as an A&E show can get) and has been a source of intrigue, inspiration, and amusement (I've never seen an episode, but this is what I've heard).

A friend of my introduced me to a YouTube clip though of one of the show's subjects getting high on those dust buster cans that people use to clean the cracks of their computer keyboards. She would just place the nozzle in her mouth, pull the trigger, and she would be, as she put it, walking on sunshine. The high would last maybe a couple minutes, and then she would shoot in another dose. She was so addicted that she would go through about 10 cans a day.

Wow.

I've got to say that I've never really understood the fascination with getting high. So you take some sort of substance (or you smoke it or snort it), and basically you can't do anything. Your brain slows down, or your head spins, or your body gets weak, or you start seeing things.

Sounds like a bad House episode.

I've never smoked pot and don't ever plan to (the strongest thing I've ever tried was hookah), but I've had friends come up to me and tell me that it's something I should do, something I can't live without ever experiencing.

I don't get it.

The arguments are the same. It's fun. It's not harmful. It's cool. There's nothing bad about it.

Here's the thing though. Everyday, I try to work to my full potential. I want to succeed at everything I do, and I want to at least contribute to a little something before the day ends. I'm not gonna lie. I usually fail at this. I still have a long way to go before I can look back on my days and say they've been productive.

Despite my shortcomings, I want to achieve that though. I want to get there, and I want to get there as soon as possible.

Taking drugs will only lessen my ability to do this.

I've heard people say before that drugs aren't any worse than alcohol, but it is. Alcohol, when consumed responsibly, is healthy for your body. It helps circulation. Drugs though alter your brain in destructive ways. It blocks your thinking, which is not healthy, no matter how you look at it.

I know hardly anybody agrees with me (even Gregory House doesn't agree with me - gasp!), but I want to live with a clear mind. I want to see things as they are (pretty or not), and I want my actions to be in my full control.

In that, I do have to accept more responsibility for myself, but I don't understand when that turned into a bad thing. Responsibility is treated as if it is some horrible disease, quickly killing us all, but actually, is is a very important part to the running of society. Without it, everyone would be free to do whatever, and we would never know peace.

I've done my fare share of sleeping in and avoiding reality, but ultimately I had to get up and face the music.

And I actually got some of that sunshine everyone's trying to walk on.

Everyone Needs One.

2009-06-08T12:50:00.017-05:00

A Stitch, that is.

No, I'm not talking about the pain you get in your side when you're laughing or working out too hard, nor am I talking about the medical sutures you get when you cut yourself. I am in fact talking about the lovable Disney cartoon character.

And, yes, I am serious. I mean, how can you not look at him and not think he's the most adorable creature on the planet? Case in point:
Anyway, the movie Lilo and Stitch is as adorable as the main character himself. The story line centers around a young girl, named Lilo, whose parents died in a car crash. Her older sister, Nani, is now her caretaker, and in an attempt to alleviate the younger sister's pain and distract her from acting out, Nani allows Lilo to adopt a dog. At the same time as Nani and Lilo struggle to become a makeshift family, Stitch (also known as Experiment 626) is made by the mad alien scientist, Jumba, to do nothing but destroy everything he touches. Escaping exile by the intergalactic government, Stitch travels to Earth, where Lilo mistakes him as a puppy. Now she must teach him to fight against his natural programing and bad behavior in order to show Child Protective Services that her dysfunctional household is really the ohana (family) that she needs before her and Stitch get sent away.

Intense, huh?

Okay, it's a little silly, but it really is a cute movie with a great moral: The love of family can overcome anything.

Which is why I am suggesting that everyone needs a Stitch, a weird, but cute, little creature who brings you together in times of strife and struggle.

Even if your life is going well, he can provide endless entertainment. In fact, I recorded my day with my Stitch to show just how fun he can be.

We started our morning off as we normally do with breakfast. Our food varies with whatever is in the house, but the staple of our morning meal is coffee. We discussed everything from shoes to finance (skipping of course politics - intergalactic policies are the worst!) and made plans for the coming day.

Now, Stitch may be cute and fluffy, but he is no pushover. He is extremely smart (how do you think he escaped our of prison?), and he loves to read. Stitch, being a little eclectic and loud himself, is a huge fan of Kinky Friedman, so today, we decided to read some passages out of "What Would Kinky Do?" Hilarious!

We were both inspired by Kinky's band, The Texas Jewboys, and were feeling a little musical ourselves, so we decided to break out Freddy the Fender and sing some tunes. Stitch is personally an Elvis fanatic, so we played Hound Dog, Heartbreak Hotel, and Burning Up before Stitch showed me some tricks for Devil in Disguise. (Stitch is really quite the talented guitarist. He's got the ear for learning songs quickly. He could use some singing lessons though...)

Stitch did learn most of his manners and good behavior from Lilo, but he has his relapses. I left for five seconds to go to the restroom, and Stitch was already making a mess of the laundry (He's got this thing about putting bras on his head. He specifically likes my pink Victoria Secret ones. I think he might be a bit of a bra snob).

To cool the little guy out, I suggested a few moments outside on the porch to get some fresh air. Stitch enjoyed watching the cars go by outside, and we betted on how many he could pick up with one hand. He once stopped a moving semi, so he probably could hold several (That would explain why he's my personal trainer).

With all the fun we had this morning, Stitch was feeling a little fatigued when we went inside (Plus, all that fur does not help in this heat and humidity), so he headed for the bedroom and went to bed while I started my blog.

See what I mean about everyone needing a Stitch? Nothing but fun! The perfect family member. He may be a little weird and out there, but he's got a heart of gold.

Maybe some of you already have a relative like that, so the next time you see them, give them an extra long hug. I'm sure they would appreciate it.

But then again, maybe you're the Stitch of your own ohana.

Kid's Scare Me.

2009-06-06T21:43:00.011-05:00

Oh, the freedom of being 20 and single.

It really is an amazing thing. Just today I was sitting around the house, planning nothing but writing a blog and relaxing before church, when one phone call to a friend completely flipped my day around. The next thing I knew I was on my way to the grocery story and gas station (Sweating like crazy on my bike. Thank you, humidity.) to grab some fruit and veggies for dinner tonight.

But it's amazing how much I took a small thing like that for granted.

The other day, I babysitted for a couple who had two kids, ages 8 and 6. The reason why they required my services was because they just wanted some time to go out with friends. Maybe see a movie.

Wow, that sucks.

Just because they wanted to go have fun, they had to go through the entire ordeal of, not just setting up the activity, but finding a babysitter and then paying her. Not only that, but when they were out, the couple, of course, had to make the cursory check-in calls.

It wasn't even like they had the ability to fully relax. Their kids were at the back of their minds at all times.

And I thought studying for an exam was bad. At least I have control over when and where I study for it. If I get hungry or need a break, I can go get food or go for a walk without even a second thought.

The entire focus is on me, and I don't have to think of anything else.

But parents and those with similar circumstances don't have that luxury. Their lives aren't about them anymore.

So all of you out there who aren't a uncommitted, youngin' like me, you get major brownie points.

You have taken on one of the hardest jobs in the world: to not constantly focus on yourself. I personally struggle (and fail miserably) with that everyday. Maybe eventually I will be as selfless and giving as y'all (I might even be able to handle kids for more than a few hours).

In all seriousness though, give yourself a pat on the back. Cause you are all amazing.

P.S. Thanks, Mom, for all that you did to raise Ky and me. I know you sacrificed a lot, and I am forever grateful. Hopefully, I will be able to make it up to you one day.

Finance Is Not For The Faint Of Heart

2009-06-05T16:19:00.008-05:00

The first week of June is over, which means a large portion of us just paid a good deal of our bills.

Anyone else feeling a little sick to their stomach?

I certainly am, and I'm a finance major. I'm beginning to think that on WebMD there should be a section on "Bill Paying Syndrome."

Symptoms include:
- Increased heart rate
- Shallow breathing
- Pain in the chest, stomach, and head
- Faintness
- And increased irritability

If you suffer from any or all of these symptoms, please seek professional help immediately as it may lead to sudden death (of others).

Seriously, it's a dangerous thing. There is nothing more infuriating than seeing your $30 internet bill increase by leaps and bounds as taxes, service charges, and whatever else are added. As frustrated as I get though, as a finance student, I more than understand why companies charge the way they do.

We all suffer from unexpected expenses and rising costs. When I moved into my first apartment a year ago, I did not anticipate the great expense of shampoo and conditioner. It's absolutely necessary in order for me to be a respected person at school and work as well as maintain my health, but the cost does add up.

It's the same for businesses. For example, they have to keep any stores or offices clean at all times in order to keep anyone from getting sick or hurt. It's a necessary expense but a costly one, and guess where they get the money to pay for all that? Us.

They can't help it. They need the money to come from somewhere.

A couple of months ago, I overheard a conversation at my campus's coffee shop. The person was complaining that it wasn't fair that we were getting charged for our paper cups in addition to our drinks.

Of course we get charged for the cups! They aren't free either. Even if Starbucks or whatever coffeehouse personally made their own cups, they still are going to have to charge something for it. Land, workers, water, nutrients, etc all still cost money!

I guess it's just a personality trait deeply ingrained in the human race that makes us cringe every time we have pay a bill. We worked hard for that money, and we want to keep it, right?

My accounting book said it best - companies that better understand their costs have an advantage to the competition. Maybe if we better understood our personal costs, we could control our gag reflexes better?

So here's my suggestion to the businesses out there. Do us all a favor and explain thoroughly what all your costs are and how you're going to charge for them. NO HIDDEN FEES WHATSOEVER!!!!

As for everyone else, I think we need to be a little bit more proactive about asking businesses for specifics about their billing before using their services. I know I wish I had done that.

But until then, to minimize discomfort, take one Jack Daniels on the rocks every night until symptoms subside.

Awkward Little Kids Are Richer Than Me

2009-06-03T20:06:00.007-05:00

This is one of the reasons why I believe God has a sense of humor.

Now who are these awkward little kids of which I speak about? The Jonas Brothers and Lucas Cruikshank.

Let's start with the Jo Bros (Stop groaning, boys).

Now technically, they are not awkward little kids. The eldest is actually older than me. Joe will be 20 at the end of the summer, and only one is under legal age. I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate me calling them awkward little kids, but their fans are, so they get thrown into the group by association.

Ultimately, though, the age of their fans really doesn't matter in the shadow of their success. Millions of CD's have been sold, Disney has given them their own show, Jonas Brother merchandise is all over the place, and let's not forget about their sold-out concerts.

Millions of dollars in their pockets.

And it's only going to continue. On June 16th, the Jonas Brothers will be releasing another album, and they have come up with a genius (genius!) advertising gimmick. Joe Jonas dressed up in a leotard and heels for the camera and danced to the popular Beyonce tune, "Single Ladies."

I know his reputation is practically shattered because of it, but everyone is watching that video and, in effect, now know about their latest music endeavor.

I know most people just want the Jonas Brothers out of their lives, but they aren't going to make it easy on you.

Now on to Lucas Cruikshank.

Who?

Lucas is the creator of the popular Fred Figglehorn series on YouTube. For those of you who still don't know what that is, Lucas pretends to be a hyperactive four-year-old. He speeds up the video to increase the pitch of his voice, making him sound like he inhaled helium.

I find it hilarious (My mother, not so much).

But, just because he has a lot of subscribers, doesn't mean he's getting any money, right?

Wrong. Lucas has actually an intense understanding of advertising. He's been asked to make appearances about ad usage on YouTube channels. He also has made deals with companies for product placement within his episodes (Basically companies are paying him to just say the name of his product. That is all).

For a teenager, that's pretty impressive, and with over a million channel subscribers, he's probably getting more advertising offers than he can accept. He's also had a TV appearance on Nickelodeon's iCarly, so his income isn't going to leave anytime soon.

Whether you love them or hate them, these guys are beating most of us out career-wise. If they wanted to, they could retire at 30. I'll probably still be considering Pasta Roni as a luxury at that age.

God, I know those guffaws are coming from you.

Insomnia Rantings: June 3rd

2009-06-03T00:42:00.003-05:00

Dear Insomnia,

I think we need to talk. Now I know we've been seeing each other for several months now, but I feel like I need to let you know what is on my mind.

I hate you.

But I don't just hate you. It goes far beyond that. Every time I think of you, I want to scream obscenities and damn you to hell. If I could, I would take my red stiletto heels and dig it into your skull, over and over again.

Look at how much violence you instill in me. You bring out my worst. It is only fair that I direct this horrid behavior towards you.

Again, I hate you.

Sincerely,
Kira

P.S. I've been secretly seeing Ambien this entire time. He can actually satisfy me in bed.

B&N Therapy

2009-06-02T17:07:00.008-05:00

Or Border's Therapy. Either one works. I'll even throw in the Austin favorite, Book People, for when there is a need of a little fun. Ultimately though, a trip to the book store, whichever one it may be, achieves the exact same thing in my world.

Relaxation.

Sometimes I purchase a book. Sometimes not, but even if no money is spent, walking through the aisles and browsing the bookcases, I feel a peace come over me and a settling of my tired brain.

Not only do I feel more relaxed, but talk about the perfect activity to get that creativity pumping. I love watching my House episodes, but it's a major brain drain. It will even give me a headache if given a chance (then again, watching medical dramas are the number one underlying cause of hypochondria).

I may risk sounding cliche, but such trips take me to a different world.

Who knows where my mind may go? Maybe to the beach for a summer vacation or to Times Square at New Years to solve a messy murder? What about a a broken down car in the middle of South Dakota (can't forget my kinship) or a philosophical debate between two coffee shop patrons?

If nothing else, it at least gets my mind focused on something other than me (Amazing how harmful narcissism is to the narcissists themselves. Trust me. It ain't pretty).

I've got to say though that my main imaginative wanderings go towards the authors of these wonderful books most of the time.

Typically while walking through the Fiction and Literature section (although, it can happen in really any section), I can't help but wonder what inspired the writers to create their works of art (Well, at least it is art in their minds).

I would hope that most murder mystery authors haven't experienced too much blood and mayhem, but what set them off to write about a demented serial killer who butchered the President wannabe whose wife stole millions of dollars from his campaign to pay off his manager to keep quiet about their sordid affair?

Maybe the jelly on their morning croissant?

Or how about the book the recounts the story of the overweight shoe aficionado trying to find love and great sex in the big city but is having a difficult time because of her overly sexually confident (and stupid) younger sister who keeps stealing all the lookers and her sexually starved boss who won't stop calling her at all hours of the night?

Sounds to me like someone has a bit of a sex addiction.

We all know about the story of J.K. Rowling. A broke mother with nothing to lose, she jotted down some crazy idea about a wizard who defeated the killing curse when he was only a baby and is the only one able to kill the powerful Voldemort. Now she's a billionaire and one of the most famous people in the world.

Harry Potter's story is really interesting, but Rowling's is too. Who's to say everyone else doesn't have a great story behind the great stories?

So usually I leave Barnes and Noble (or Borders or whatever) with my imagination running full throttle. Like the gears on a well-kept bike (definitely not talking about mine here), my mind switches from story line to story line, keeping me from thinking about bills and jobs and those weird people downstairs at least for a couple of hours, and every now and then, I am finally able to gain some understanding into my own life.

Talk about some cheap therapy!

Cinderella, Cinderalla, You're the Devil, Cinderella.

2009-06-01T12:17:00.004-05:00

So last Saturday night, I watched the Disney classic Cinderella.

Don't worry. I was babysitting two girls under the age of five, so it wasn't like I was sitting at home, eating bonbons and sipping $5 wine. It has probably been ten years since I've actually watched that movie, but I've got to say that I now remember why it was such a popular movie in the first place.

It's an adorable story, and I'm not just talking about Cinderella finding her prince and living happily ever after. The mice running around, trying to escape the vile cat, Lucifer (creative on that one, huh?) and all their silly antics to make Cinderella the perfect dress for the ball is really quite cute.

But I'm not writing to talk about the mice and their squeaky voices (although, it would be funny to see where I would go with that). I am writing because of the popular demonization of movies such as Cinderella as well as the movie's other Disney counterparts.

This past year, I was required to take a class about social issues and justice. For some reason, the subject of Disney movies came up and all the horrible things it assumes and teaches. The movies are apparently brainwashing our children to be intolerant and judgmental little monsters.

What?

When I popped the DVD in for the girls to watch, I couldn't help but remember the main offense called against Cinderella: the movie encourages women to think that only men can save them and that ultimate happiness comes in finding a man to marry. I wanted to see just to what extent the movie perpetuated this idea, and by the end, I realized something.

People need to chill out.

Cinderella is first and foremost a movie. It is purely meant to entertain. Grab the Cinderella movie box, and I doubt it says anything about this movie being an educational tool for our children. It is just a story meant to make kids happy. In fact, I'm a little scared that parents out there feel like Cinderella will have such an effect on their children's psyche. Isn't there that thing called school?

But even if kids end up learning something from Cinderella, I think the last thing we can expect is that they'll believe men have such an importance in women's lives.

What about the fact that in times of strife Cinderella kept an open and positive mind? What about Cinderella's friendly demeanor despite the harsh treatment of her step-mother and step-sisters? What about all the hard work Cinderella did? What about her determination to try on that shoe to prove that she was the prince's true love?

The last thing we need to worry about is our children learning some suppressive message of male dominance or that the only way to happiness is through a man. Cinderella was happy before she met the prince. Ultimately all she did was receive a bonus for all her hard work, not salvation.

Besides, isn't this movie targeted towards that age group who think the opposite sex has cooties?

Yes, Cinderella is the cause of all our problems.

My Affinity for Old Guys

2009-05-29T12:21:00.009-05:00

Okay, I don't really have an affinity for old guys (that would just be plain disturbing), but for some reason all my celebrity crushes are over the age of 45 (or, you know, dead).

Maybe it's because I have a craving for guys who don't think it's sexy to chug a beer in 13 seconds (although, I do admit that's impressive) or to scream "Hey, baby!" out their car window while I'm walking to Texenza. Then again, it could be because in 2nd grade I smacked my head against a spare tire and then watched the Miss America pageant so that my mother could affirm I didn't have a concussion. I'm not quite sure how that would lead to my over-45 crushings, but the brain is a very complicated thing, and it's possible.

But anyway, who are these lucky guys who have won over my heart? There are specifically three.

The first of the three is one of two that my Twitter followers hear me talk about on a regular basis (this one is usually daily). Daily, because like his television character's need for Vicodin, I have a need for Hugh Laurie.

Now before we get on me about the fact that his character, Gregory House, is nothing but a fictional character and in no way is a real representation of life and therefore deserves really none of my affection, I must say that, while I do love the bitter and rude doctor, he is not the only reason.

It's hard not to love House with his belief that "Everyone lies" because, well, we all do, and it's even harder not to love the fact that he has no problem expressing his cynicism, anger, and amusement (talk about making relationships easier to understand, even if it is uncomfortable at times). But it's the person behind the show though that really deserves the love.

It's because at the end of the day, when Hugh Laurie turns back to Hugh Laurie, he becomes this pleasant and witty Brit with class to boot. The fact that he can channel two completely different personalities with such ease (if you ever see his audition tape for House, you'll see just what I'm talking about) is very impressive. It's not just the character; it's the talent to play the character.

And I'm always a sucker for blue eyes and accents.

The next crush of whom my Twitter following has probably heard of is none other than the famous Frank Sinatra.

It all started a few years ago, during the Christmas season, when my mom, sister, and I were driving somewhere (I think it was to our yearly dinner at Maggiano's - great food by the way), and we were listening to Christmas music on the radio. Now most of the greatest Christmas songs were recorded long before I was born, so I, for the most part, had no clue who the singers were. My mom though started questioning my sister and me on their names, and the only one that I could think of was Frank's. That's all I ever answered, but in doing so, I came to know Sinatra's voice well and ultimately became a fan.

Okay, okay, I admit that he wasn't the most stable person when he was alive (suffering from bi-polar disorder possibly), and his mood swings probably wouldn't have been that fun to be around, but when you can hold a career as long as that guy did, sound that amazing, and still be gathering fans even after your death, I really don't care how many mood swings you have.

I think you're kind of allowed to have some after that. But his mental disorder really doesn't matter anyway when it comes to my affection to him.

Frank said it best: I've got him under my skin.

And for my final over-45 crush. It has been awhile since I've had a gushing moment about him, but the affection is still there. I can't help it. It just comes natural.

If you haven't figured out, the older gentleman I have come to greatly appreciate is none other than George Strait (Yeah, if you missed the song title clue from above, you have not listened to enough country. I don't care what your music preference is.)

Not only does the guy have the classic country voice that I just can't help but love, but there is just something about his music, his confident air, and his lack of bragging about his fame that is so appealing. His presence is so unassuming and so calming that you can't just help but like him.

And there is just something about a cowboy hat and boots.

Maybe some day, I will no longer look forward to older celebrities and actually care for someone my own age, but I hope that it won't come for a while.

It might sound strange, but my celebrity crushes are actually doing me a favor. Despite my preaching on the benefits of remaining single, I rarely follow that thinking. An attractive man walks by, and my mind can't help but at least take two seconds to imagine a full relationship from first introduction to the first child.

Good thing I have my three celebrity crushes to bring me back to reality, reminding me of just what I want in a relationship and just what I still have to learn and experience before I can achieve that. Maybe my affection for Hugh, Frank, and George comes from what I feel I can learn from them. It's possible they are more my role models than my crushes.

But if any of you out there in the future find a blue eyed cowboy with a crooner's voice who likes to tell it like it is, please. Don't hesitate to give him my number.

The Book Bug Is Itching

2009-05-26T16:14:00.011-05:00

There is nothing like school to kill the urge to read.

Happens every semester, and for the first few weeks of summer or Christmas break, I have to undergo some sort of detox. No intellectually stimulating books and plenty of time to waste on the internet, checking Facebook and popping balloons on pogo.com.

I am slowly coming out of this stage though and am very excited for some of the books that have just come out or are about to.

Book #1: Sinner by Ted Dekker

Dekker is the ultimate suspense novelist. His books are almost impossible to put down once you have started reading. The world he creates in his novels might seem somewhat outrageous at the start, but by the end, you can't help but wonder if it is possible. It is not only there to intrigue and entertain, but to question and challenge.

And I don't expect him to disappoint in this latest work of his. It is actually the third book in The Books of History Chronicles series. What is so interesting about this book is that the synopsis given suggests it will take place in a world vastly different from the end of the second book. Has somewhat of a doomsday sound to it, and you really can't get better than that in a book.

Book #2: Green by Ted Dekker

Yes, it is another Dekker book, but this novel is the end (or is it the beginning?) to The Circle series. The series consisted originally of the books Black, Red, and White and focused around the character Thomas Hunter who when he fell asleep in this world would wake up in a place completely different.

The book has yet to be released, but it is being said that it doesn't matter if you've read the entire series or are just starting. The book attempts to answer some of the questions left by the other three books, while also connecting the end to the beginning. I'm pretty interested in seeing if Dekker can do it.

Also as a side note, the Circle series connects to the Books of History Chronicles, so this new edition may answer some questions on that side as well.

Book #3: Fatally Flaky by Diane Mott Davidson

Davidson is well known for her books on caterer Goldy Shulz, who likes to solve crimes in her free time. I personally have a soft spot for Davidson books because she lives in Colorado (and apparently one of her son's went to my elementary school for awhile), but her stories are great at weaving together the gossip and secrets that everyone in the town of Aspen Meadows seems to have.

Also, most of her books contain recipes for the meals Goldy prepares throughout the story line. Maybe one of these days, I'll attempt a couple.

Book #4: House and Philosophy: Everybody Lies by Henry Jacoby and William Irwin

If you haven't already heard it from Twitter or Facebook, I LOVE House. Can't get enough of the show, so of couse I would want the book. This isn't like other show books though that contain more pictures than words and that really have no other purpose than to sit on the coffee table. This book is a compliation of essays about the issues brought up by the show.

Sounds heavy but will be interesting notheless. Just like the show's leading character.

To Shave My Legs Or Not Shave My Legs?

2009-05-25T16:07:00.014-05:00

That is most certainly the question.

No, I'm not a hippy or anything of that sort who would oppose such beauty treatments and allow my legs to get as hairy as my Pomeranian/Pekingese dog, but for those of you out there who don't already know, the act of shaving one's legs is a very long and arduous process. And honestly I wasn't quite sure I wanted to go through with it today.

I mean, it's not like anyone is going to run their hands up them anytime soon (Guys, stop crying). It just seems like a little touch of vanity right now that really has no practical use in my life. With my hair so light colored that very few can see when the yard needs some mowing, the only concern I should have is for my significant other, who is currently MIA and, therefore, in no need of hairless legs.

Oddly though, this dilemma has made me think about relationships in general. It's been awhile since I've had one, and I really don't have any plans to start one in the near future, but I think this is really as great of a time as any to dig down deep into the chunky muck that is love.

To be quite honest, I am surprised that I have not been turned away from the prospect of a romantic relationship yet. My friends have some of the most dysfunctional relationships I have ever seen and has made me skeptical of true love.

Here's an example for you. This past week a friend of mine wanted to give her boyfriend a gift, and, because he was making it difficult to meet up, she said something about dropping it off and then leaving him alone forever. Apparently (according to her now ex-boyfriend), that's equivalent to a break up.

Because I always give gifts to the people I break up with. You know, kind of like a parting gift.

So nice, right?*

Not, but I don't want to give up on love yet. Nothing breaks apart without a specific reason. It's kind of like my broken watch. It didn't just break for the hell of it. It was filled with water and then spun around in the washer. Tough conditions for a watch.

And love isn't some random concept our minds made up that is completely unnatural to the human race. Whether you argue it from a scientific, philosophical, religious, or whatever type of viewpoint, everything is ultimately dependent on one another. Love is a major aspect to that.

So what is going wrong with these relationships? Why is the divorce rate over 50%? Why do we have celebrities like Scarlett Johansson saying the monogamy was not a reasonable human action? (By the way, Ms. Johansson is married to Ryan Reynolds.) What the hell is going on here?

It was best said on a TV series "Being Erica." It's a Canadian show that airs on SOAPNet, but in one of the episodes, the issue of how to get into a romantic relationship comes up. What can you do to get your significant other?

But as much as you try, it ultimately isn't up to you.

What?!? But it's my relationship!

No, it is not your relationship. You are only a part of it. You don't own it. There are two people involved. If it's going to be successful, it cannot be all about you.

So when it comes to the world's defuct relationships, I can see an abundance of narcissism. Not only can I see it in others' relationships, I can see it in mine. It's all about me, my schedule, my desires. It's rarely about others, and I often think about it too late.

Love isn't gone thankfully, but it is rarely understood.

So, I guess I'm glad I'm single at the moment. The people I know out there deserve a much more giving me, and it's going to be a long, long, long, long, long (did I mention long?) time before I can even make some small progress.

In the mean time, I think I'll work on a commitment to my legs. They've given me so much support for so many years (you know, like, my entire life).

The least I could do is make them silky smooth.

*Earlier I had made some comments about a couple of relationships. The information I provided may have been incomplete or extremely biased and extremely uncalled for. Also, I would like to state that I am not the leading information source on relationships. These are my opinions and therefore can be wrong. I apologize for any offense this may of caused some people and will make sure this does not happen again.

Insomnia Rantings: May 22

2009-05-22T00:50:00.006-05:00

Okay, so, I'm thinking it's a pretty bad time to not be able to sleep.

Tomorrow I have an interview with Pier 1 Imports at 10 in the morning. I was hoping to get a good eight hours of sleep, so as to arrive rested and ready for anything, yet here I am. Too many thoughts that just won't leave me alone. And my stomach has been touch an go since the beginning.

All of these thoughts though have been making quite a clamoring while I lie in bed. So much so that I hope some of this blog actually makes sense because my mind has a lot it just wants to splirt out (Yes, splirt) onto the page. In the meantime, I hope this calms me down.

And is it just me, or do I smell opportunity? What a potent smell it is! That is a scent even more aromatic than that of the coffee bean. Once it hits you, you are up and ready to tackle the next thing.

Well, that's what I smell tonight. Opportunity. Yes, I smell it in my job interview, and it certainly smells sweet. A conversation with my mom this past evening opened the sliding glass door of my mind to the several pleasant smells outside, and my mind wants to clamor to each fruity and flowery scent. And my day at Texanza, writing blogs and working on my own personal writing projects, has just seemed to air out those hidden corners of my mind that I had locked up in the depths of the school semester.

Yes, there is opportunity in the air tonight. And it is just fragrant.

Hopefully I'll be able to catch some before they drift way.

Why Guys Should Wear Heels

2009-05-21T12:48:00.040-05:00

Okay, I actually don't believe guys should ever wear heels (I typically swoon over a good pair of cowboy boots), but the other day I was dropping off an application at DSW, and I thought I would explain what a certain type of shoe can say about a woman.

We are going to start off today with a very simple shoe that caught my eye from across the store.

This shoe is from Guess and sells for about $60 (Yes, $60, guys, and that's actually pretty cheap for a shoe). Now, because camera phones can only show so much, this shoe is actually a much brighter pink than it appears and would easily catch any one's eye whether going to the club with friends or presenting at a business meeting.

Now guys, I bet you are wondering why on earth would a woman wear something like that. Looking at the at least three-inch heel, it probably isn't the most comfortable shoe on the planet, and it will definitely start pinching your toes after a couple of hours, so why wear it? Mainly, this shoe just makes a statement. Only the most confident of women would wear something so bold. So guys, if you want a woman who can take care of herself and get what she wants, look for these bright heels.

Now onto the next heels. These heels come from Michael Michael Kohrs, and are obviously more expensive than the Guess shoes, usually selling for $150 at some stores, but at DSW, you can get them for much cheaper.

Now, boys, I bet you are wondering again why would any woman get these? They have a much higher heel than the last pair, and with a wooden base, put much more pressure on the balls of your feet. So why think about buying them?

Easy. These shoes are summer fun meets style. Just because a woman is going out to the beach or pool, doesn't mean she can't look great doing it. In my opinion, only a tough woman has the ability to wear these with style and grace.

So guys if you are looking for a nice-looking lady with a thick skin, look for these shoes.

Now the next couple pairs of shoes all caught my eye, but all point to one attribute in a woman.

To the left, are two pairs of Moda Spana shoes, one striped blue and black and the other with orange and pink swirls. They both retail for about $50.

On the right is a pair of Steve Madden Luxe strappy stilettos. I personally love Steve Madden shoes because of the great deals you can usually get on them.

The other two pairs of heels on the left and below are from Ellen Tracy. Both retail for about $70, which I agree is a little on the costly side, but despite that, they offer two completely different and beautiful styles. Either go tropical and fruity or dark and mysterious. What's especially nice about these shoes is the smaller heel, which is only about an inch high.

Now what do these shoes say about the women who wear them? Easy, that they are creative. All five pairs have a plethora of colors on them, and not necessarily in an organized manner. They have color, and they definitely more than challenge the mundane black and brown pumps of the typical businesswoman. They show a bit of exhibition.

So guys, don't want someone boring? Look for these.

Now, while I loved all of these shoes, I definitely had my favorites. It's not hard to tell why I loved these heels from Two Lips and Kelly & Kate: pink, eclectic, and sassy. Couldn't ask for anything better!

I know it sounds a little odd, but the sparkle of the Two Lips shoes and the boldness of the snakeskin Kelly & Kate heels express who I am in the best way possible: proud, a little ditsy, eccentric, and, well, just darn cute. Also both were on the cheaper end of the cost scale, and that is always a bonus (although, guys don't ever equate cheap shoes to a cheap date. Just don't go there!)

Okay, okay, guys. I know you are still probably sitting there, scratching your heads, wondering why the hell you ever decided to read this. It probably is a lost cause to explain the shoe obsession since for many women it's not about what shoe they buy but about how they feel while wearing it. Every woman is different, so ultimately, the type of shoe she wears isn't going to tell you everything you need to know. The only way you can really learn more is spending time with her (yes, guys, believe it or not, you will have to spend time with her). There is no getting past that.

But now that I've gone on and on about high heels, I have one more piece of advice to give concerning men's choice in shoes. Crocks = evil. Talk about a real mood killer (I don't care how comfortable they are!).

And Mom, don't think I have forgotten about you. I saw this and immediately had to take a picture for your enjoyment:
Ladies, don't be shy. Check out these shoes and more on www.dsw.com.

And Away We Go!

2009-05-19T19:17:00.006-05:00

So today, my mother suggested I think about study abroad. I have been planning to go next summer, and she thought it would be a good idea for me to get some information on the programs available, how much it was going to cost, what classes I could take, et cetera while I had the time this summer.

But I am at a dilemma. I don't know where to go.

I have two choices in mind. My first choice is somewhere in England (I am sure y'all are thinking what I'm thinking. They speak English there.), and my second choice is Anger, France (My university has a special branch there, and I might as well get some use out of all those French language courses I've been taking).

But which should I choose?

I've been told that England is a great place to go. It might be rainy all the time, and the food may suck, but I hear it is full of an eclectic bunch of people and styles. Not only are there the stuck up, rich class with their ascots and tea times, but there's the Mod scene with beatniks and musicians and the Bollywood influence to brighten those dreary skies.

And who knows? Maybe one day, after hanging with my newly found British friends at the local pub, on my way back to my living arrangement to study about British literature or the state of the European economy, a dark stranger (very Bond-like of course) will run up and grab my arm, pulling me into a nearby ally as small Puegots drive by as if the devil were chasing after them. After telling me to stay quiet, we would run down the alley to a limousine just hiding around the corner. When we got inside, I would be told that I was unexpectedly thrown into the middle of a conspiracy to overthrow the Queen and that I must now help to save the royal family.

Of course, I would accept, and away we would drive to some small village in the countryside where an old, humble man living in a dilapidated house hides some of the most high-tech weapons that side of the Atlantic. Along with my mysterious, handsome escort, we would run off with our new gadgets to Buckingham palace where we would catch an extremely ugly second cousin three times removed from the Queen, who had just lost all his family fortune on some 20 year old French gold digger and was hoping to take it back from his distant relative. My good-looking acquaintance would fire a couple shots to direct the villain towards the back where I would be hiding in the bushes, ready to take the man down.

As we apprehend him, palace security would inform the Queen of the deed we had performed, and as a sign of her gratitude, she would bestow onto us a care package that would keep me happily floating somewhere on a large yacht in the middle of the Caribbean with my dark stranger doing nothing but writing blogs until my dying day.

Or there's Anger, France.

Stationed on the northwestern side of the country, Anger is a town that has been said to be around since Roman times. It is not too far from the famous Paris: the City of Lights, the most romantic place on Earth, and the fashion capital of the world. And let's not forget the food, shall we?

But just imagine, that one day, while on an excursion with my class through one of the several massive cathedrals build throughout the ages in Anger, a new friend and I (I'm thinking this new friend should be an ambitious writer from the U.S. as well, whose good looks are barely hidden behind his round spectacles) stumble across a weird parchment hidden within the stone wall. In it is a riddle, which we conclude is telling us to head to Notre Dame.

The next day, under the ruse of field research in the city, we travel to Paris (after of course enjoying fantastic espressos and croissants) and quickly move down the Seine River to our destination. In the large cathedral, we would walk to the altar, where an old sculpture would point to a stone column a few feet back. On the column, just where the stone reaches the floor, is another riddle. This one of course points us to le tour Eiffel, but it all states that we must make it to the top before sundown and gaze into the southeastern sky.

We run to Eiffel Tower just in time to see a flash of light guide our gaze to the Arc de Triomphe. There we run, knowing that there is little time before we must be back in Anger. As we approach the site, we notice a brick with a strange marking on the side. Recognizing it as a symbol from the previous clues, my intelligent acquaintance and I chip out the stone and find in it great treasures of Napoleon that had thought to have been lost during World War I.

Thankful for our contributions, the French government and the Louvre (who would of course display our findings) would give us vast sums of money, which, in turn, my new love and I would buy a giant house in the French countryside, where we would spend the rest of our days writing books and blogs.

Because that is so going to happen.

I guess I'll have to give it some more thought. ;-)

Don't Judge a Movie By It's Cover

2009-05-18T14:11:00.013-05:00

I am infamously known for not seeing very many movies. Lord of the Rings, Fight Club, Pineapple Express, etc. If you ask me if I've watched them, I probably haven't.

While some I actually choose not to watch, I usually just lose track of time. Often it feels like these many star-studded hits are moved through the theaters and off the New Releases shelf at Blockbuster before I can even blink an eye, and by then, there is another movie I am interested in seeing (although I probably won't see that movie either). It's easily forgotten in the recesses of my mind.

Despite my busy life of school, work, and hanging with friends (like most people do), that doesn't mean I haven't seen my fair share of good movies. Most of them, though, aren't your usual run-of-the-mill suspects. For example, I love Hayao Miyazaki films.

Hi-ya Miya-what films?

That's what I said when a friend of mine introduced me to them. Miyazaki (if you couldn't already figure it out) is a Japanese director for animated films. Some of his works include Castle in the Sky, Kiki's Delivery Service, and Princess Mononoke, which won Best Picture at the Japanese Academy Awards.

The two movies of his that I particularly enjoy are Howl's Moving Castle and Spirited Away. Spirited Away actually won an American Academy Award for Best Animated Feature in 2002 along with several other national awards.

Both of the movies focus on two young girls who are very insecure and introverted but are forced to overcome their fears when their lives take a drastic turn for the worse. (One is turned into an old lady while the other's parents are turned into pigs.) The struggle of the characters is very similar to what most people must experience in their lives: overcoming uncertainty and finding the strength to protect those you love. They are two movies that you can definitely relate to.

What I also love about these movies is just the abundance of creativity in them. The premises are crazy and absolutely insane, yet at the end of the film, you can't help but wish it would happen to you. The movies leave you guessing till the very end because just about anything can happen! It's exciting and dynamic.

I know, I know. Looking at the films covers, they look a little strange. It's not what we usually pick for our films, and for some people, it might just be a little too out there (My dad does not share my sentiments for these films). If you really want to watch an intreguing story that won't give away the ending in the first five minutes (but will most certainly be happy) and that is perfect for the family though, I suggest any of the Hayao Miyazaki films ten times over.

And I guarantee you will be pleasantly surprised.

How Work Became A Friend

2009-05-15T14:11:00.004-05:00

This past Tuesday, I had an interesting conversation with a twitter friend (lafinguy aka Mike Shaldjian). He was excited about going to work, and I made some comment about that not being normal or something along those lines. His response was somewhat self-deprecating though as he said that he was just a sick individual who liked work.

But he's not a sick individual.

In fact, I give him props for being so excited to go to work. Just barely in my 20's (left the teens last Friday), I am starting to realize that this whole grumbling scene of wanting to stay up late and stay in bed all day watching TV or stalking friends on Facebook is not a great life after all.

I guess this comes after a week of having no school or job to go to and no car to get me out of the house, but Mike's attitude is dead on with how we should percieve our work.

Yeah, it can sometimes be miserable, horrible even, but it gives you something to do. You are contributing your skills and knowledge, more or less, to the world. You are using the body's most vital organ, the brain, throughout the day, giving it some much needed exercise.

And I know how first hand a job can help you with things such as depression or anxiety. In fact, counselors full-heartedly encourage those suffering from these illnesses to keep busy, to get out of the house, to do SOMETHING. I personally have anxiety issues, but by keeping busy with work or school, I can usually think through things much more efficiently or even just forget about it if need be.

Overall, work isn't this horrible punishment that has befallen on the world. It's sad that top executives have lately decided to exploit this great gift for their own gain and that some peoples' hard work just isn't enough, but it really truly is as natural to us as breathing. Work actually has the capacity to give us a higher quality of life, and I'm not just talking about bigger houses and nicer cars.

The happiness is there somewhere. All we just need to do is find it (of course, I mean by doing something you actually enjoy with people you enjoy). It's possible with a little initiative.

So Work, my friend. Here I come!

Free Wi-Fi? Wi not?

2009-05-13T12:10:00.014-05:00

Today, I decided to get out of the house a bit and work on things at a nearby coffee shop, called Texenza Coffee. The owner's of the Texenza chain used to franchise Seattle's Best coffee shops, but decided this past fall to become independent and run the coffee shops under another name. They have several locations on the University of Texas' Austin campus, one in the magnificent downtown Frost building and the expensive Galleria shopping mall, and one on my own college campus.

When they first made their change from Seattle's Best to Texenza, I was skeptical. Seattle's Best is a successful company. Combine that with the fact that it was bought out by the top coffee giant Starbucks in 2003, I would think that they would know what they hell they were doing. Would little Texenza be able to stand up to the pros?

After watching them for the past few months, I believe so. Their coffee drinks haven't gotten any worse. In fact, sometimes I feel like it's better. Their food options come from Little Big City Catering, which is also owned by the owners of Texenza. If you ever get a chance to try their sausage, egg, and cheese breakfast sandwiches, you will fall in love. They are fantastic. I've even given it the nickname Crack Sandwich - it gives you an unbelievable thrill even if it's not exactly the best thing to put in your body.

But there is one thing that makes Texenza stand out. Free Wi-Fi.

Whaaaat?!? Free Wi-Fi? There's such a thing?

Yeah, amazingly, Texenza offers the service with no questions asked. The only thing you have to do is go to a store. No confidentiality or term agreements. Just connect, and you are surfing the World Wide Web.

It is completely ridiculous that other larger companies (namely Starbucks) don't offer this kind of service in their shops. If I have the choice to go to one of two coffee shops with just about the same quality of coffee drinks and one offers free Wi-Fi, I'm gonna go to the one with the free internet service, and even though I am going for the free service, I will most likely buy a drink while I'm there.

Can you see where I'm going here? Talk about a great way to boost sales.

Maybe it's about time Starbucks took a second look at their Wi-Fi agreement with T-Mobile, especially now that they are sustaining losses and closing down several locations. If they offered free Wi-Fi, it is possible that they would get those needed customers back that they've been slowly losing over the years.

I know that providing Wi-Fi is expensive. I've learned that with my recent move, but the added inflow of customers will help with the cost. Looking at the current Texenza customers (all of whom are working on their laptops at the moment), they all have a drink close by, and it's lunch time. One is going to get hungry.

Starbucks, it is all about understanding your customers, and you have failed miserably. If you want to bounce back from this recession, you've got to innovate and do it fast. My loyalty is already starting to move elsewhere.

If you would like to find out more about Texenza Coffee, check out their website at www.texenzacoffee.com.

Just Do It.

2009-05-12T13:41:00.006-05:00

Ever have those experiences when you are trying to teach someone something and they are struggling so much with it that all you want to scream is "JUST DO IT?"

That's how I feel right now, except at myself.

The main thing I am struggling with at this time is change, and I am usually a very accepting person of it. Change is what we as people must experience to become better, learn more, and be happier. I should want that right?

But now that I am in the midst of change, I'm scared out of my mind!

How do you know what to do? How do you know how it will turn out? What if it turns out badly? What do you do then?

All of those questions have been running around in my mind so much that it's been hard to even think straight. Multiple times in the past few days, I'll be walking to the shower when I lose my train of thought, think of something else I need to do, and spend the next two hours doing it. Thank God it is not possible for me to smell bad, or I would be in trouble. ;-)

Normal things that I used to do have come to a stop. Walking to the library to write or study? Going to class? Meeting friends up at the coffee shop? Running across campus to work? None of that is happening right now, and I miss it! I almost feel like I've lost my right arm or something.

It's difficult to have your life completely flipped upside down. There is a reason why we crave stability in the form of a job or a house or a family. It guarantees us a constant in the coming years that we don't have to worry about.

But the great thing is that we can survive the impending change, no matter how extreme. As much as I hated my history class, I keep thinking back to the numerous things that changed in our world just in the past five centuries! Had it not be for the long, uncomfortable stains of change, our world wouldn't be the same. WE wouldn't be the same.

And so even though I feel shaky and unbalanced, this time will mold me into an even better person (I know. I know. It's hard to imagine something better than this.) This isn't a time to fear. It's a time to welcome with open arms. I just have to survive it. I just have to do it, whatever it may be.

Too bad that's the hard part.

Reflections on Moving

2009-05-09T13:13:00.005-05:00

Pretty much my overall thoughts on moving are that it sucks.

The idea that I am most likely going to have to do this again sometime down the road makes me not a happy camper.

It's funny how, when you're a kid, you love moving! It's so exciting to be in a new place that you get to explore and play in, and most likely, you will get a lot of new stuff!

But as a child, you are completely unaware of all the complexities of moving. Your parents do it all for you!.

Like the packing for instance. That's not fun, and usually, it seems like it will never, ever end! Even if you've spent hours packing, the moment you stop more stuff is revealed to you in need of boxing. I moved several times when I was younger, but I don't remember having to do any of that!

Then there is the actual moving. I am glad to be on the third floor of my apartment building, but OH, MY GOODNESS! If it weren't for some of my friends, I would never have made it. I am still exhausted from the preceding day of lugging all my crap (and my roommate's) up three flights of stairs.

Best work out I've ever had.

But as a child, you aren't expected to do any of it! Not a thing. I know I wouldn't trust my non-existent children to not break something.

My blissful ignorance though came to a shuddering halt my senior year of high school. My mom was moving to Arizona, and in the fall, I was coming to Austin. We needed to move everything out of our third story apartment. My mom though was suffering from a cyst in her knee, and my sister...well, I don't know what she was doing, but it certainly wasn't helping me. Not only did we have a ton of stuff to carry down a bunch of stairs, but we were doing this in late May. Can we say hot?

It hasn't gotten much better from there. Moving into my dorm in August and then my on campus apartment the year later, I sweated through every single one of my clothing (P.S. I've lived in either Colorado or Arizona for most of my life. There is no humidity there, but Austin has a plethora of it. I have yet to get used to it.)

Moving out of my dorm was quite the struggle also as I didn't have a car, and that little fact certainly didn't help moving yesterday either. (This is where my wonderful friends come in. If it weren't for their cars and trucks, my stuff would not be where it is right now.)

So in the end, moving has been just one headache after another, and I'm pretty sure that if you've had to move before without movers, you understand.

Of course, that's not the end of the madness! There's setting up the internet, getting cable, furniture, and blah blah blah. That lasts at least for another week if not longer.

And I'm about to lose my mind! I got to say this entire thing is just down right scary. I am moving out for the first time on my own (ignoring the dorm and on-campus apartment because that isn't real life). I've got a whole lot of bills to pay and a lot of things to buy and my roommate disappeared (seriously, didn't even stay the first night). I am feeling pretty shaky about everything right now.

There is one thing though that does keep me sane at least. My mom introduced me to it: Psalms 55:22 - Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.

At least if I can't do it, he certainly can, and that makes me feel ten times better! It definitely takes a weight off my chest.

Whether I survive this move or not though, that doesn't change just how crappy moving can be. I at least hope that I don't have to do it again until I can afford a team of movers. And I think God, especially after yesterday, could drink to that!

Suck it up, Soldier!

2009-05-07T15:51:00.005-05:00

Yesterday, when I was facing two difficult finals and a move, I thought I was going to pass out. Apparently I let my blood sugar levels just get a little too out of control, and I had to fight off a severe headache that usually incapacitates half of my body (as in I can't see out of my right eye or feel my right hand). But I had finals to do damn it, and so I just grabbed some crackers and Advil, and I made it through the day just fine. In fact, by the time everything was said and done, I felt well enough to go to Bible study.

I felt bad, but I took some action, and I got my shit done.

Why does no one else seem to understand this? I hear it all the time: Oh, I just don't feel well so I'm not coming, or I had a headache so I wasn't able to do it. Several times this has put me in a serious bind.

I understand that everyone has off days. I do all the time, but that doesn't just give everyone an excuse to drop everything and leave it for others to handle. If you can't stand up without passing out, that's one thing, but if you just feel crappy? Go to work. Go to school. You'll be fine.

It's also extremely irritating when someone drags out something like "I wasn't feeling great," for an entire week. If you really aren't feeling good, go to the doctor. Get meds, or do something, for heavens sake, other than lie in bed and complain about how life sucks. I know when I start getting a sore throat all I eat and drink for days is Vitamin C and Airborne.

And whaddya know, I usually don't end up missing any school and feel pretty fantastic very quickly.

I'm a skinny, blond haired, white girl, who has lived a pretty comfortable life for the most part. If I can do it, you can do it.

If you still need a little more convincing, here's a story for you: Last spring break, I got my four wisdom teeth taken out. Two days after the extraction, my grandpa died. So instead of resting, like I was told to do by my oral surgeon, I drove ten hours to South Dakota in a car with all my family members. Three days later, I drove back those ten hours so that I could make my early flight to Arizona, where I planned to celebrate Easter with mi madre. On Monday, everything was back to normal.

So suck it up, soldier. Cause guess what? You'll most likely survive.

Insomnia Rantings: May 7

2009-05-07T01:01:00.006-05:00

So I am a sufferer of chronic insomnia. It usually flairs up because 1) it's that time of the month or 2) I am going through a time of immense stress/excitement.

And I currently am going through both. This tends to happen a lot though, and so on the advice of a twitter friend (Knot2serious - I suggest you follow him) I am going to start a series on the thoughts that run through my head during the worst of my insomnia.

First thought of the night: I think it is so cool that my skills at spadoodle increase exponentially when I am tired or feel sick.

Second: I wonder how many multiple choice will be on my accounting exam tomorrow. Which makes me wonder whether I will like my accounting professor for next year (Not quite sure how I got to that thought). So far I have rather enjoyed both that I have had (Tiny ladies with thick southern accents), but I seem to have a problem connecting with any of my business professors. Now my CULF (gen. ed. courses) teachers are awesome, and I still speak with many of them, but that doesn't mean shit in the business world. I guess though I still have two years to find at least one biz prof who I can use as a recommendation.

Thirdly: Why are people so resistant to change? I'm not really quite sure I want the world to stay as it is. Think about it.

Fourth: Man, how much water did I drink before I went to bed? Should I go to the restroom one last time?

Five: What time is it?

Six: If those damn people don't shut up outside, I'm going to blow up the school...okay, they're gone. Geez, Kira. Chill out!

And finally: Okay, so tomorrow, I will get up at 8:30. Shower and dress. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast, but no coffee! That's probably why you can't sleep anyway. Okay, then go to Moody and finish studying for accounting. Geez, I wonder if I'm going to like my accounting professor for next semester. I've liked my past two, but I'm not always gonna be so lucky...

Wait, didn't I already talk about this? Well, I guess that means I should give sleep another try.

I hope you enjoyed tonights edition of Insomnia Rantings.

Oh, yeah, did I mention my birthday is tomorrow, May 8th? Finally out of my teens. Whoo!

The Week Before Finals

2009-04-26T23:02:00.006-05:00

Twas the week before finals
And the students on campus
Were stressing like crazy
And entering madness

Too many papers to research
And projects to make
Everything must be perfect
Our grades are at stake

Not a desk will be empty
In the library for weeks
No time for showers
So everyone stinks

Formal speeches and essays
And study groups abound
The exhaustion is hitting us
Down to the ground

But our teachers don't care
They planned for this mess
To see us freak out
They like all our stress

To hang out with friends
We can no longer do
Any time to relax
Gets fewer and few

The hope is that we
Can survive until may
But at this point I think
I won't get through the day!

A Deadly Disease

2009-04-16T22:08:00.011-05:00

Singleness.

I am one of several people who suffer from this condition. Yes, that is right. I spend my nights alone! *Gasp!*

Okay, okay, enough with the crap. Why is it that we are still so concerned with people being in relationships? The stuff I hear sometimes is just absolutely appalling.

For example, a couple months ago, I heard that a friend of mine thought that I was a lesbian in love with my best friend because I didn't have a boyfriend.

What on earth? That has to be the biggest load of crap I have ever heard in my life! There are several reasons why I don't have a boyfriend, and all of them make much more sense than that.

First of all, I am nineteen years old. Still a teenager. While sometimes I forget how young I really am, that doesn't change the fact that I am in no way ready for a serious relationship. Isn't it like 80% of all couples who marry under 25 end up in divorce?

Second of all, I am in college: the world of boozefests, sleeping around, and overall irresponsibility. Yeah, I'm gonna find a real keeper in that.

Third of all, I don't appreciate that just because I don't have a boy toy to fool around with I somehow have something wrong with me. I doubly don't appreciate the perversion of a good friendship.

And being single is not a bad thing! Elisabeth Elliot said it best in her book "Let Me Be A Woman." Sometimes you learn the most in your single years! It is the time for you to explore life and yourself. It is a time of learning and growing. You are restricted in how much you can do that when you constantly have to adjust to another person.

I'm not saying you don't learn when you are in a relationship, but the content of what you learn is completely different, and I don't want to miss out on what that may be.

In the end, my singleness is not a disease. Rushing into something you're not ready for is.

Too bad it's already infecting over half of the U.S. population.

God's Gift to Mankind

2009-04-15T17:34:00.012-05:00

God's gift to mankind can only be coffee.

I seriously don't know what I would do if I couldn't taste that wonderfulness every morning. I just love the smell of it as it percolates in my coffee machine while I get dressed and ready for another day. I almost died during my history class today when my teacher brought in a cup of that fragrant yumminess. It's fantastic stuff.

Despite the obvious greatness that is coffee, not a day goes by that I don't hear someone bashing the drink. Well, here's what I have to say to you:

The French Revolution? Started at a coffee shop. (Look up Camille Desmoulins if you don't believe me.)

And the stock exchange? Started in coffee shops.

Oh, yeah. And world trade? Established by the trade of coffee between the Arab nations, Latin America, and the Asian islands.

Those are only a few ways that coffee has contributed to our world today. Without it, our lives could be drastically different and not necessarily for the best either. So the next time you haters plan on bashing the best drink on the planet, think again.

Because you are bashing God's gift to mankind!

Lent and Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

2009-04-13T18:33:00.007-05:00

Okay, so for the past few years, I have tried to give something up for lent, and I usually give up the same thing - sweets (basically anything that I could consider dessert). Since yesterday was Easter though, lent is now over, and I celebrated with oatmeal raisin cookies today while at the library.

But as I look back on my experience, I realize that a lot of my friends and acquaintances really bashed the practice. Even my Christian friends, some who are much more devout in their faith than me, really looked down on the idea of giving something up.

And I'm confused at this reaction.

What is so bad about giving something up for lent? Yeah, I know; it's not that fun. I can't tell you how many times someone shoved a piece of candy in my face asking if I wanted some (and boy, did I!). The temptation was difficult, and the sacrifice did not feel all that pleasing.

But here's the thing: I am soooo proud of myself. Because I lasted forty days without biting into something full of sugar, I know now that it doesn't determine my life. If sugar would disappear tomorrow, I know that I could survive.

It sounds kind of silly as I write this, but the pride I feel right now is immense. I challenged myself. I set a goal. And I reached it.

I know. I know. Now what though? I can go back to eating as much sugary, sweet stuff as I want, right? Back to my old, bad habits?

I think this is where people get lost on the idea of lent. So many times we give up something that's not good for us and then forget about it as soon as lent is over. All that hard work just ends up washing away.

But it doesn't have to be that way. Just like any goal, when one is reached, another should be made. And that's what I plan to do.

No, I'm not going to give up sweets completely, but I have made the goal to really restrict myself on my consumption. I had oatmeal raisin cookies today, and that is it for the week! Yup, that's right. No more until next week.

Lent isn't some outdated practice that should be shunned. It should be embraced. Even if you aren't religious, everyone can agree that overcoming bad habits is a great goal in life. We all should work to become better people. Lent is just one way of accomplishing it.

And I'll bet my oatmeal raisin cookies on that.

What the hell is Pookachino?

2009-04-10T11:28:00.007-05:00

So I was a little slow on the uptake, and just realized that most of the world besides my family has no idea what the significance of Pookachino is.

It all started one random day...

My sister, Ky, and I had just driven home from somewhere. I can't remember exactly where we came from, but we were walking up the stairs to our third floor apartment when suddenly my sister, out of nowhere, calls me Pooka.

Now I fought this nickname good and hard. Pooka is a name that can easily be changed into something less appealing, such as Puka or Poopa. My sister's boyfriend still finds immense pleasure in calling me one of those two.

But the name persisted, and I quickly became Pooka among my family members.

Then a few years later, I was in the car with my father and sisters, and the conversation turned to my dream of owning a coffee shop when I was older (coffee addiction + owning coffee shop = muy bueno). We were thinking of names, and Ky, who is really more creative than she gives herself credit for, thought to combine Pooka with Cappuchino. Pookachino.

I don't know why I loved this name when I so obviously opposed the original Pooka, but Pookachino seems to fit all aspects of my life. It's cute, a little strange, but intreguing.

And some day, I hope to take the name far.

Ultimate Sign of Rudeness!!!!!!

2009-04-09T14:22:00.006-05:00

Next week is my sister's birthday, and I needed to mail off her present. Because I go to a Catholic university and today is a holiday, the post office on campus was closed. There is another post office just down the street, but because I don't have a car, I had to walk there.

Now my school is beautiful and extremely safe for the most part, but it is situated in a not so nice part of town. Even though it was the middle of the day, I thought it might be smart to bring a friend along: a guy friend.

Despite that, I still had people yelling out their car windows at me. I even had a guy who was obviously walking back from Walmart say "Hey, baby. Check out my root beer."

What on earth possesses guys to even think something like that is okay in any way? It is degrading and, especially for a blond girl like me, extremely frightening. I don't know what you want, and so I can only guess that you want to do something bad to me.

If you think I look good, great, but keep it to yourself. I don't care, and I don't need to know. Stop being idiots and shut up. Doing crap like that won't get you laid.

It's just bugging me!

2009-04-08T23:05:00.004-05:00

Just a second ago, when I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water, I found a giant cockroach on the window sill above the sink. I quickly grabbed the Raid bottle my roommate and I keep in the house, but before I could spray the bug enough to kill it, he ran behind the refrigerator.

To keep my mind off the bug crawling into my room and nibbling away at my toes while I sleep, I've decided to start a blog.

Okay, so that's not entirely true, but because the Easter holiday is coming up, I don't have school tomorrow, so why not?

And considering my current situation, I might as well talk about bugs.

First of all, I hate them. I used to be indifferent until I was assigned a Biology project my senior year of high school that required me to catch and then pin a collection of insects. My tolerance for bugs has been slim to none ever since.

Also, a bug once caused my toilet to overflow. When I first moved into my apartment, I spotted a giant cricket in my living room. After catching it in a paper towel, I figured a watery grave down the toilet would be a perfect way to dispose of his little body. Apparently that was just too much for my ancient toilet to handle.

And finally, bugs have no sense of personal space. They will just crawl all over you if given the chance. Don't we call people like that perverts?

In conclusion, all bugs should die.